My Sorry Life
by Call Me Ray
Summary: Bella's life is a mess and she wants to correct it badly but how will being in love with a female shape-shifter and becoming a shape-shifter herself, as well as fight off the crazy forces of evil help. Slight humor, Bella is not wolf Shape-shifter.M Later
1. Chapter 1

**Okay here is the first chapter of My sorry Life and I am really, really, really sorry about starting another story before finishing my other one, I won't make a habit out of this I promise**

_**Started: December 10, 2011**_

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><p>How long was this going to go on, I wasn't sure if I could take it anymore. I was lying to everyone, and myself. I watched her any chance I could get and I'm surprised that no body had found out how I lusted for her. It was sick, I know but I couldn't help it. Something about her drawn me in, and when I wasn't near her. There was a pain, that never went away. I had tried everything, even going so far as to cutting myself, but I knew it would never help. I tired hiding in the dark and under pain to cover up my unrequited love for her. I know I was giving everyone unnecessary worry for my selfish reasons, but I had been a unselfish person my whole life; just this once I wanted to do something for myself.<p>

I pulled my wool coat tighter around me to keep the wind out and to keep my cuts hidden from the world. This was my usual routine for me. Coming to the CVS and waiting for my dealer to come by. Yea that's right I was a drug addict, but it helped me forget. And Charlie didn't care what happened to me anymore, he had a new family to take of. I was just someone that was keeping him back. And the Cullens had long since stopped talking me, though we still saw each other at the bonfires I were forced to. The Quileutes and the Cullens had abolished the treaty and welcomed them like family after the battle with Victoria.

"Here." a man said handing me a bag of white powder, I took out my wallet and handed him a five, when he didn't walk away I gave a sigh and put a ten in his hand.

Once he was gone I quickly got to work on my drug, pulling out a lighter I could already feel the adrenaline rushing through me. Bring the Cocaine filled cigarette to my lips I lit it up. I knew my pupils were already starting to wide because I could feel how I was inching closer and closer to death each time I smoked this crap. Taking a short cut through the forest I began my walk from the CVS back to Charlies house. I was just a few block from the house at the end of my journey but I never left the woods. I wasn't ready to put it away yet.

I watched from a distance how Jacob pulled into our drive way on his motorcycle with Leah on the back. I watched how they shared a passionate kiss and hugged before Leah walked into the house. Once Jacob pulled out of our drive way and was far gone the road, I broke down. It was hard watching them share a life I wished I had. I wanted to be the one on the motorcycle and the one to share the hug. Tears continued to run down my face long after the third cigarette, but by then I was to high to even understand why I had been crying.

I know it's not good for my but dammit it made me forget, and if it could do that then I'm going to use the shit. I doubt no one understands the heart break I was going through right now, to the see the woman you loved being kissed by your ex-best friend, it heart crushing. Yea that's right, you thought I wish I was in Leah's place didn't you, hoping to get back with the one that got away. No, I wanted to be with the one that didn't even have a chance. Back then I had been to obsessed with Edward and the supernatural, I was like a toddler when you tried to feed them, a mess.

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><p>I don't know what happen next but the next morning I woke up still in the woods, but I was naked and covered in blood, thankfully me coat was still intact and I could put that on. It covered up the red irritated gashes, and the new animal like marks on my hips. I would have time to inspect them when I got into the bathroom, that was in the safety of Charlies house.<p>

I climbed up the tree and to the window I still kept unlock. Quietly I opened the window and jumped through it. After the first time I had been out late like I had yesterday, I decided it would be great to learn how to climb up trees. It was much easier than going through the front door and having to go through many questions asked by Charlie and Sue.

I walked past the twin sized bed that Leah now slept on, since we shared a room now, getting a pair of pants despite how the temperature was considerable rising into the 90's, a long-sleeve shirt and knew socks I quickly walked to the bathroom. Opening the door to my room I grimace when it creaked, behind me Leah only gave a groan and tossed in her bed.

Running some water, I started to clean the wounds, now don't get me wrong though I cut my self I wasn't much for bleeding to death or, scabs. Which is why I had gone to doing drugs, easy to hide, quick to get, and you got twice the amount of adrenaline you would from cutting yourself. After dressing I walked back into the room to make sure Leah was still sleeping before I went down the stairs, skipping the third to the bottom since it creaked loudly.

But it seemed that didn't matter since Sue was already in the kitchen making breakfast, I nodded to her and tried to keep the worried look off her face when she saw the bags under my eyes. Taking a seat in my chair on the island away from the table they usually ate at, Sue sat a plate of pancakes in front of me. From up stairs I could hear the others waking and shuffling around.

"We'll be going to the bonfire again tonight." Sue said.

"Will Jake be there." Leah asked as she finally came down the stairs.

My heart wrenched in my chest at the sight of her, I only dared to look at her for a few seconds before I became to suspicious. Digging back into my pancakes I felt the sudden need for a smoke and could keep from taping my hands on the counter lightly. It was what I did when I fidgeted, or the need for my drug came to me. Jumping out of my seat I couldn't take it any more and quickly thanked Sue before running out back pulling on my wool coat that no doubt still smelled of Cocaine.

Running into the woods behind our house I quickly pulled out a cig I had prepared before everything last night went blank. Lighting it I felt the drug getting to me, and I knew if I kept this up I would come to the end of my supply and maybe even my death from OD.

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><p><strong>Leah's Pov. <strong>

I watched as Bella ran out of the house, before taking her plate and eating the rest of the pancakes that looked like they had barely been touched. She had been acting funny ever since the battle between the Newborns, and she smelled of smoke when ever she came home now. I was on her case, but I wasn't going to let it get between me and Jake.

We had finally found the love we had for each other after he had gotten over vampire lover girl. We spent most of our times down at the beach or over at his house, it would be embarrassing for him to come over and see what had become of his old best friend. This had really shocked me though. Bella had isolated herself from everyone, even the Cullens, and her friends had school. She always seemed to be nervous and she would fidget when I stepped into the room.

I would have to talk to the pack, and council about her behavior, it would do no good for her or Charlie if she went off and got herself killed. So better to solve the problem now than later. Finishing the plate of pancakes I gave mom a kiss before I walked out side when my ears picked up the sound of a motorcycle coming down the road.

I smiled and waved as Jake pulled in our drive way, hoping off the porch I ran to him and gave him a hug. He smiled and kissed me before giving me a helmet, he was such a gentlemen. On the way back though my mind was clouded with thoughts of what was wrong with Bella. I was so deep into my thinking I barely noticed we had pulled up to the trail that lead to the beach.

Jake got off and then helped me before we walked hand in hand down to the beach. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was out and shining, the waves were calm and everyone was at peace. Everyone except for me, the idea of what Bella could possible be doing was ruining my day with Jake and I don't like it.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked, walking in front of me and staring into his eyes, I smiled. His concern reminded me of why I loved him.

"Nothing big, you don't have to worry. Let's just enjoy our day." I said tugging on his hand, leading use to a washed up log.

"If you say so." Jake murmured taking seat next to me.

**Bella's Pov.**

I must have passed out again because I woke up in the forest again, clothing intact I mind you. My nerves had calmed down, but looking at the watch I quickly got to my feet. Tossing and turning I looked around for my large Altoids box, it's were I stashed all my cigs. Looking down at my digital watch I noticed I had enough time to run into the house and freshen up so don't go to the party smelling like cigarettes. Running into the house I quietly tip toed passed charlie who was yelling at the TV, men and football I don't get it.

By the time I got out of the shower I had ten minutes before the Bonfire started, getting dressed once again. I ran down the stairs and into the garage were a black shiny 1964 Flashback mustang sat lone, next to it was a brand new sports motorcycle. If your wondering how I had gotten the money for these two vehicles, well let's just say I don't only _do _the drugs. I blew a kiss to my precious bike before hoping into the drivers seat of the mustang. The car itself smelled little to none of smoke, but that's because I loved it so much; I would never get the smell out if I smoke in it.

Speeding down the roads until I got to the dirt one that would bring me to the Reservation, I started to bring my baby down to a more suitable speed or at least according to the law it was suitable. Taking my key out of the ignition. I checked myself over in the mirror. I wore a white blazer, a pair of black baggy pants, a grey tight V neck shirt, and a pair of flats. Stepping out of the car I walked down the sandy trail to the beach, it was a while before I heard laughing and the bright red flames of the fire.

I grimace when I heard the laugh of both Jake and Leah, suddenly I felt nervous and really needed a smoke, but I fought the erg. It had been a long time since I had been her, the past month I had been able to make an excuse for not coming, but luck wasn't with me this week.

"Ah there she is!" Billy said gesturing to me, this brought everyone's attention to me and I gave a small nod.

It didn't shock me that the Cullens were there, they had made it a tradition to come to the Bonfire. There stared at me and I saw how Jasper, and Alice's face were knitted in confusion as they looked at me. Turning back to there family they went back to there fast hushed whispers.

Pulling on my head phones I found a log a little ways from everybody else and pulled out my iPod. Pressing play a small smile came onto my face as I listened to the words and how they seemed so ironic.

_Here's the thing we started off friends  
>It was cool but it was all pretend<br>Yeah yeah  
>Since you been gone<em>

_You dedicated you took the time_  
><em>Wasn't long till I called you mine<em>  
><em>Yeah Yeah<em>  
><em>Since you been gone<em>

_And all you'd ever hear me say_  
><em>Is how I pictured me with you<em>  
><em>That's all you'd ever hear me say<em>

_But since you been gone_  
><em>I can breathe for the first time<em>  
><em>Im so movin on<em>  
><em>Yeah yeah<em>  
><em>Thanks to you<em>  
><em>Now I get<em>  
><em>What I want<em>  
><em>Since you been gone<em>

_How can I put it? you put me on_  
><em>I even fell for that stupid love song<em>  
><em>Yeah yeah<em>  
><em>Since you been gone<em>

_How come I never hear you say_  
><em>I just wanna be with you<em>  
><em>I guess you never felt that way<em>

_But since you been gone_  
><em>I can breathe for the first time<em>  
><em>Im so movin on<em>  
><em>Yeah yeah<em>  
><em>Thanks to you<em>  
><em>Now I get<em>  
><em>I get what I want<em>  
><em>Since you been gone<em>

_You had your chance you blew it_  
><em>Out of sight, out of mind<em>  
><em>Shut your mouth I just can't take it<em>  
><em>Again and again and again and again<em>

_Since you been gone_  
><em>I can breathe for the first time<em>  
><em>Im so movin on<em>  
><em>Yeah yeah<em>  
><em>Thanks to you (thanks to you)<em>  
><em>Now I get<em>  
><em>I get what I want<em>  
><em>I can breathe for the first time<em>  
><em>Im so movin on<em>  
><em>Yeah yeah<em>  
><em>Thanks to you (thanks to you)<em>  
><em>Now I get (I get)<em>  
><em>You should know (you should know)<em>  
><em>That I get<em>  
><em>I get what I want<em>  
><em>Since you been gone<em>  
><em>Since you been gone<em>  
><em>Since you been gone<em>

I groaned as there was a sudden burning pain in my shoulder, it felt something like what Jacob had describe when he said he first changed. The burning spread through my whole body and I jolted to my feet and without my command my legs carried me to the forest, i only caught a worried glimpse from the Cullens before i was in the forest.. I was farther in then I expected to go before I gained control of my feet, but also by then the burning had come to the point where I could do nothing but fall to the ground.

There was cracking in my body and something told me it was my bones making that sound. My legs started to decompose as well as the rest of my body, to the point I could see my muscle tissue and bones. It hurt like hell, but I couldn't scream or even cry, I was to focused on the pain I was going through. I wished for it to be over but it didn't happen.

This was my punishment for lusting after a female, my step sister no less. The gods were sending down there rage, and it was hitting me with full force. I prayed for forgiveness, and when I peaked my eye open I vomited onto the ground beside me. My body had become nothing but connected bones, and my eyes widen as I watched how my bones expanded and then broke before new ones grew in there place. Suddenly it came to me that this could possible happen to my head, finally my tears shut down. Luckily though my head didn't explode like the rest of my body, but it start to burn beyond belief.

I passed out after my torso had decomposed and exploded. But the next time I woke up I was on the ground _again_ for the third time this day. But something was different I felt shorter to the ground, but I felt like I could rule the world or take on the Incredible Hulk. It wasn't until I looked around did I see a white cat tail behind me. Turning around it disappeared and I went in a full circle, then oddly I felt like I was one of the animals that would chase their own tails.

I froze and I looked down, and noticed I had white paws, a snout, and a tail. Finally I guessed that I must have shifted like the Quileutes did. Picking up the scent of freshwater I followed my nose and soon I came upon a small stream. Looking into the water my eyes widen, I was definitely not a wolf, but I was an animal.

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><p><strong>Okay so first off Sorry for making another story before finishing my first one, I'll try not to make a habit out of it. Also I don't know much on drugs other then addictions and crap like that so if you have information on that it would help a lot, Lastly Review and tell me what you think and sorry for any errors. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so I've done research and cocaine can be smoked though it doesn't have the same type of effect if it was snorted, thanks for those that gave me information. So here is chapter 2 of My Sorry Life.**

**Sorry for any mistakes but, I was rushing through this and when I read it over it looked fine and still don't have a beta so, yea hope you enjoy.****  
><strong>

_**Started: December 10, 2011****  
><strong>_

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><p><strong>Bella's Pov.<strong>

Electric blue eyes stared back at me in the water reflection. My fury head was white with black spots and I didn't need to looked back through my seventh grade since class memory to figure out I was a mixer of a wolf and snow leopard or some sort. But really I just look liked one big wolf with white fur and black spots. I was much bigger than an average one though, much bigger about the same height as Leah. It was then that I took in that everything was crystal clear in new eyes. And I could grasp hold of every feeling I had since I woke up, and my memory was amazing. Sitting down my eyes followed the tail that was swishing back and forth behind me.

Being in this form was awesome and everything but I would love to be back in my human body, that's unless I was in this form permanently. Giving a huff I walked back to were my body had changed into the form I was in now. Finding my coat I smiled, this was one tough coat. Digging my nose around into the pockets my mouth was able to latch onto the plastic bag of Cocaine. Thank god for plastic bags! Setting the bag down I then went in search of my metal Altoids box. I found it near by a tree that looked like it had been hit by lightning. Grabbing the box in my mouth I sat it down next to the bag.

Suddenly I realized that it was no doubt Tuesday morning now, and determining by the slightly pink sky I would say that it was around three or four. Giving a huff again I tried to remember what Jacob had told me on how he always got back into his human body. Soon after multiple tries I was able to get back into my old body. Grabbing my coat I was pleased that it still fit, despite how much more muscular my body had gotten after the change. Grabbing the plastic bag, Altoids, and my iPod that now had a cracked screen, I made my way back to the car. Pleased with finding my keys not far from where I had found the Altoids.

I had expected to be the only one still at La Push but it seemed that I wasn't. Leah and Jake still sat by the fire that was only burning because there was no wind to blow it out. They sat quietly talking and I could tell I would only be interrupting them if I was to even walk by them. Turning to go on the back trail that would take me into a circle and back to my car, I was stopped by call, on my cell.

Flipping my phone open I took note of the caller ID, by now though I had caught the two love birds attention. So I walked their way to me car.

"Hello?" I asked my tone was dark, and cold. I saw Jacob, and Leah look at me with worry. Probably because they had never sent his side of me. This worried them, than they hadn't met me yet. A lot about me had changed over the years

"Meet us on Jackson street, by the CVS. You know what time." the voice on the other end said.

I sighed, "Okay, you just be there on time I know how you get." I murmured into the phone.

"Don't you worry baby cakes I'll be there." the voice on the other end said before the call ended.

Sighing I put my hands into my pockets and and tried not to let my rage and sorrow get to me at seeing Leah give Jacob a kiss. I was half way to the car when Leah caught up to me, I couldn't help but tense up. What could she possible want with me?

"Bella you think I could ride back with you, Jake's car is out of gas." she asked, and she hadn't seemed to notice that I now stood on pair with her.

I gave a small nod though I wasn't so sure I wanted to go through the heart ache of being so close to the girl I would never get. We walked the rest of the way to my car in silence, I opened the door for her before walking to my side of the car and getting in. Just before I stuck the key in the ignition Jacob walked up to the car. Him and Leah had a small chat and I gripped the wheel tightly to keep from strangling someone. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I looked out my window until finally they gave each other a kiss and an awkward hug.

I let a sigh out before I pulled the car into reverse and pulled got as fast as I could out of the reservation. Once we had hit public road I slowed down to a reasonable speed. Letting one hand keep control of the steering wheel I let the other tap nervously on the stick-shift gear knob. The ride was silent half way until finally Leah broke it.

"Where did you go off to." she sounded angry, and she looked angry too. But I don't understand why, she had never cared where I went before this, so why now.

"I just went on a long walk." I murmured, I didn't want to start a fight, not now and not with her. It wouldn't help my situation at all.

"Must have been some dam long walk cause you were gone the whole party." she hissed looking my in the eye, but I didn't meet hers. What is the cause of all this hatred towards me now.

"Would you get off my dam back, I'm not a little kid. If anything why where you with Jacob until morning?" I shot back, if she wanted to play with fire we would, but there's no doubt that she was only going to get burned.

She seemed at a lost of words for a moment, and her mouth hung open. I turned back to the road so we didn't crash. My jaw locked, and swore at myself for being so hard on Leah, she was probably just worried about me and I just went and made everything worse. "Who was it that called you."

Turning back to Leah my face twisted into a hot mess of confusion. Why would she want to know who was calling me. I added it back up to her just being worried. "It was nobody important."

Running up to my room I pulled on another pair of clothing before running back down to my car and hoping in and pulled out backing out again, and taking the short drive to the CVS. I sighed as I slammed the car do shut. Pulling out a cig I lit it and walked to the corner of the store. And then I began my wait.

**Leah's Pov.**

I watched shocked as Bella pulled out of the drive way, she had never been this cold. When had she changed, when had she grown up, and grown a pair. Shaking my head I pushed the thought out of my head, walking into our room I flopped down on my bed, though my eyes instantly wondered to her empty bed. Why did I suddenly care so much about what happened to her; after the battle her life had always been something none of us were allowed to intruded into. But I had never figured out why.

A yawn escaped my lips and I got under the covers, I would have to worry about her in the morning. I spent the whole day talking to Jake and my body could use the much needed rest.

Waking up I was surprised to find Bella in her bed sleeping, she usually wasn't at home or she was just coming home by now. Getting out my bed as quiet as I could I walked silently to the other girls bed. Staring down at her I couldn't help but notice that she looked so peaceful, and a small smile was on her face. Usually she had a scowl on her face, or her face was knitted into rage, but not once had I seen her smile the past few summers. I sat on the edge of her bed and let my fingers run through her hair, even in her sleep she flinched from my touch like it burned her.

She smelled of smoke as usually, but her skin was heated to the point it burned even my hands. And that's a lot coming from me a werewolf, we had over heated body temperatures. So if there was one thing I knew about was body heat. Pressing the back of my hand to her forehead I checked to see if she had a fever, but it seemed the exact opposite. Finally I took in her bulky body, it was muscular much more than mine. She was slightly less built then the guys, but she had that of a something between track athlete, and a basketball player.

Suddenly her arm was wrapped around my waist and I was pulled into her heated body, I gave a yelp but it didn't arise the woman from her sleep. My back was pulled into her chest and I knew my eyes had widen. I struggled to get out of the girls grip which only seemed to tighten as I fought, I wonder what she's dreaming about. Finally she flinched away from me, and I quickly took my chance and got out of the bed. Staring down at her I became much aware of my fast beating heart, and my flushed cheeks.

Why was I blushing, she was just acting out of reaction from her dreams. Beside I was attracted to Jake not Bella. I stared back down at her once I had gain control of my rising blood pressure. She was murmuring something and I had to strain my ears to hear what she was saying.

"Lea Mi dispiace, per favore, non farmi questo nuovo" she murmured. Her voice was small and seemed like that of a scared child's. I couldn't tell what language she was speaking but if I had to guess I would say French, she had been working on her degree in foreign languages.

"Yo puedo hacerlo mejor por favor, dame otra oportunidad." I silently wondered if she was talking to some girl or man in her dream because she sounded desperate, like she was trying to win something over.

I rushed out of the room not being able to handled Bella's desperate and pitiful voice. Walking into the kitchen I saw mom cleaning up a bit, and Charlie sat at in the living room drinking some beer. Seth was probably over at one of the guys house hanging out.

"Leah could you go wake Bella up, she'll be late for work." mom asked me. I was confused for a second before I remembered that Bella had gotten a job at some casino down in Seattle as a poker dealer.

"Why don't we just let her sleep in today, she's had a rough week." I said. Mom shook her head and gave me a look before dropping her rag in the sink and going to wake Bella up.

I was just being childish I told myself, but I couldn't risk going back in there. What if she grabbed me again but this time never let me go. I guess it would feel nice, being in her strong arms, and warm body. Maybe we could even- snap out of it Leah your in love with Jake. I mentally slapped myself and tried to distract myself by getting some breakfast. Jake wouldn't be coming over today so I couldn't rely on him to help me forget about her.

**Bella's Pov.**

Walking out of the employers locker room I walked to my assigned table, number 23, the casino I worked at was pretty fancy and well popular so I was well paid and tipped by people if I was lucky. My white dress shirt was nicely ironed and my butler like suit seemed to fit my well now after the phase, before it had hanged off my body a little. I waited for at least a few candlemarks before I lit one of my normal cigs and started to do some tricks with the cards.

Finally after two more candlemarks a group of people came, three girls, and four guys. They looked wealthy and I knew I could get probably get a pretty good tip out of them if I was on my best behavior. The men pulled up a stool for some of the women and themselves too.

"So Bella.. you have some very interesting eyes. I've never seen that shade of blue before." the woman I now knew as Carmon. She was probably the smartest person I would every meet. She had long blond hair with nice emerald green eyes, and a curvy body. From what I could tell she was married to David. A handsome man with bronze hair styled to looked much like with his slightly spiky hair, and grey eyes were like oceans.

"Yea, I get that a lot." I murmured. I saw Carmon cress out some wrinkles in her short red dress. They suddenly looked nervous. Beside them Lucy and Peter were talking in hushed whispers.

I shuffles the cards before I passed them out again. From the corner of my eyes though I never stopped looking at Lucy and Peter. Lucy was a short female almost like a pixie and had red hair like fire, her eyes though unique like mine were a electric blue. And then Peter was fairly tall, with auburn hair that was kind of long for a guy but was held back in a ponytail. His eyes were gold unlike his wife's.

Then on the far left side of the table was a lean man; I had quickly learned that his name was Demetrio. He had olive skin and from the accent I heard earlier he was no doubt Hispanic. His hair was dark brown, and he had hazel eyes. He wore a simple white suit with a purple tie. But then on the far right we had another couple, Julia and Mark. Julia was the second tallest female standing around 5'10 but not as tall as I was now, she had blond hair with a hot pink highlights in it, and grey eyes. She wore a simple black dress with black heels that went with the white dress shirt, and black slacks that Mark wore. Mark had brown hair and brown eyes.

They all went back to the game almost as if order to, and I suddenly felt nervous. Twisting the cigarette bud between my fingers a few I sighed and then but it down on the ash tray beside me. I tapped my hands on the polished wood of the poker table, I swore under my breath and wondered why I had applied for a job like this. Then I remembered that it was because it paid well, and it wouldn't take long before I had enough money for the parts I needed for the motorcycle I was working on. What was I doing, Leah was never going to accept me, she was far to in love with Jacob. Suddenly I felt anger course through my veins, this was his fault. If he wasn't so dam nice and a man of course I might have been able to be with the girl I loved.

I knew I was just being angry with myself, for falling so hard for someone I couldn't get. But I couldn't help it, it felt like I was slowly burning away the longer I was away from her touch. "You seem to be a little stressed out.. I would love to help if I can?" Lucy said. He voice held genuine concern for me.

I sighed was it really that noticeable. "Just some problems in paradise."

"Hm your man giving you a hard time." Carmon through laughs.

"It's a female and no actually, we're not even dating." I said, my eyes narrowed out of instinct and I couldn't help the small growl that slipped from my lips. Either they hadn't heard it or their just really good actors.

"I see, she's with another man." Mark said, hitting home. I turned my head and passed out the cards. My hand slipped into my pockets to keep from fidgeting to much.

"Get her time she'll come around sooner or later." Peter said a goofy smile on his face like he knew some kind of inside joke, beside him Lucy had let her hand rest on his bicep. They looked kind of familiar.

They all stood and I was surprised when they each handed me a twenty. Peter handed me a sheet of paper and upon looking at it; I saw a number on it as well as a house address. "Give us a call or drop by anytime for_ any_ reason." Peter said before walking away with his arms wrapped tightly around Lucy's waist.

It wasn't until on the drive back did I pull out one of my Cocaine filled cigs. Lighting it up I slammed the car door shut and went for a short walk in the woods. I went to my normal spot in the woods, and took a seat to do finish off a few smokes. My life was only getting worse by the day and this drug wasn't doing anything at all to help me forget. I knew that I was once again on the verge of death when I pulled out a needle, yea that's right it was Heroin. I've only done it a few times but it worked. I would only use it for today and then after that I would stop and find something less death risky not that it would matter now.

Injecting myself with the drug it had no real effects at first, before suddenly my world went dark. I knew for a fact though if I died today I wouldn't care and neither would anyone else. Life was to much and if this could lead me to peace then so be it, it was the drug talking. Before long I was passed out on the cold ground.

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><p><em><strong>"Lea I'm sorry, please don't do this to me again' = <strong>_Lea Mi dispiace, per favore, non farmi questo nuovo

_**'I can do better please give me another chance." =**_ Yo puedo hacerlo mejor por favor, dame otra oportunidad.

**If these are off it's because I got them from** **Google Translate**. **But review and tell me what you think of it**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay everyone here it is chapter 3 of My sorry life, but before I begin I have a few announcements to make. first off i won't be able to update during Christmas, sorry. Secondly if your reading my other story What Now I'll try updating soon, I was having a small writers block.**

**_Started: December 10, 2011_  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Bella's Pov.<strong>

I woke up in the forest again a large headache on the rise. Shaking my head I noticed I must had phased while I asleep. Taking advantage of my new form I went for a small walk, around the forest. I had yet to test my strengths or my speed. So I was amazed when I bolted off like flash, I was nothing but a blur to the people I passed by. Coming to a stop on a bolder my chest was heaving, but I wasn't tired. I was panting at the adrenaline that was pumping through my system, it was better then drugs I'll give you that. A bird flew over me and I chased after it, we played around the small robin testing my speed, and strength. Before I knew what was happening I had jumped and snapped at the bird.

My predictor instincts quickly kicked in and I continued my chase after the bird that had flown high. My muscles tighten like a spring and pounced, high. I must had at least reach twenty feet into the air. My teeth rapped around the tail of the bird and I dragged it back down to the earth with me. My paw held it to the ground as I hissed at it. It wasn't long before the robin had died from no air and when I lifted my paw a smile came onto my face, before I realized what I had done. I scurried back from the dead animal, and ran the opposite way. I didn't know where I was going I just knew that I had just killed something.

This feeling was new to me, I had never killed anything before, not even a worm. I never had it in me to kill something. So you can see how much of a shock this was to me. Before long I was back at the river I had first gone to when I phased. But on the other side was a gorgeous white leopard much like myself. I became cautious as I walked closer to the river to get a drink. When the other leopard made no move to attack at me I took a drink from the clean water, but as I continued I became much away of the leopard moving to sit in front of me. When I looked up at the leopard she titled her head in a questioning way before, she swiped her paw at me. It was playful gesture and I gave into it jumping to the other side we began our game of tag.

She was far beyond my speed and strength which was good because I felt I could be myself, but a few candlemarks later and we both had become tired. I laded in the grass, my head on my paws, she looked at me for a second before she curled around me, almost like a mother would with their child. I learned a few things about myself from this. First off we were incredible fast much faster then the werewolves, and our strength was on pair with the vampires. Not only that but we had... special abilities just like vampires did too. I had seen how she had vanished and appeared not far away in our game of tag.

Suddenly there was a howl that broke our peaceful rest, and the female Leopard jumped to her feet and bolted away. I cursed myself for forgetting that we were still in fact on werewolf territory, I stood to my feet just as Jake, Leah, and Seth all came out of the forest in their wolf forms. Growls were coming from their lips and the only thing I knew how to do was to run away. I was quick on getting out of there but Leah and the other were right on me. Suddenly there was another howl and I saw a black wolf come onto my path, it was Sam. I pounced and I was able to use one of the trees to continue jump to another one across from it. My sharp claws digging into the wood.

It was long before I reached the border and I knew they wouldn't cross it even though the treaty had been abolished some time ago, much to my pleasure at the moment. Once I was across the border I was home free and I used my full speed to get back home, but just before I got there Sam had been able to scratch me.

I made it back to the forest just in time to watch as Jacob and Leah pulled into our drive way, they rushed into the house, and my acute hearing was able to pick up them talking about if everyone was safe, and were was I. It was hard but I was able to phase back again, this time but faster and less painful. Pulling on my coat, I was just about to put pull a cig from my Altoids box when the slip of paper I had gotten from Peter fell out. Looking down at the number and address, I looked at the the plastic bag of white powder, and my mind floated back to my time with the leopard today. It had felt as if nothing was holding me back and I was just at peace with life, but as I stared at the bag of Cocaine it reminded me of how my life was being controlled by something else, and that I wasn't even capable of thinking on my own.

It was then and there that I made a decision that would probable change my life forever.

**Leah's Pov.**

It was good to know that charlie and mom where safe but I couldn't say the same thing about Bella. She had yet to come home, which scared me. But night was coming and a day was about to past since she had been home, the longest she had ever stayed out. I gave Jake a peck on the cheek before walking up to my room. Soon hours passed and I decided it was about time I go to bed; just as I entered I caught sight of Bella walking across the street a wide smile on her face. It was contagious because soon I was smiling as well. It wasn't long before she walked into our room, and grabbed her things and went to the bathroom.

I sat on the edge of my bed as I listened to the running water, and as I remembered our chase after the leopard earlier today. The thing had been fast I'll give it that, but there was no doubt in my mind that we would get it the next time it passed through. Sam told me he would talk to the Cullens about it, and asked if they would be on the look out on their side of Forks. Finally the water stopped and I heard Bella give a hiss of pain, I had to resist the erg to go and see what was wrong.

Finally she came back into the room in only a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top. My mouth went completely dry when I saw the tight muscles ready to explode from her body. It was actually hard to tell when she had gotten them because she was always wearing that big wool coat. She must have caught me staring because she gave a confused look. I waved her off though I knew that I actually wanted her to take me up into her arms and kiss me, but that would never happen. I _was _with Jake, my _boyfriend_.

**Bella's Pov.**

I was hasten to knock on the door, of the huge mansion before me. It felt like I was meeting the Cullens all over again. But finally when I knocked on the door it wasn't Esme that greeted me it was Lucy. She welcomed me with a warm hug before leading me into the house, we walked up a pair of glass stairs before we finally reached a office just across the beckon. Upon entering in I wasn't surprised when I saw that Carmon, Peter, and David were all in the room.

Lucy lead me to a seat and I took it giving her a nod of thanks. She took a seat on the arm of Peter's chair behind a desk. I was nervous and I had to fight the erg to pull out a cig, I knew if I wanted to get through this I would have to find a better way to deal with my nervousness other than smoking my life away.

"So Bella what was it that you wanted to talk about." Peter said leaning forward in his chair a little.

I gave a small nervous chuckle, I didn't know how to say it so I just pulled out the plastic bag of white powder. Getting up I walked over to Peter and set down on his desk, I felt like a caged animal, and my eyes darted anywhere they could without looking at the four people in the room.

"Is this what I think it is." Peter said looking at the bag for a second before giving me an astonished look.

"Well Bella you sure do have yourself in a pickle that's for sure." Peter said. But he smiled to show he wasn't mad at me.

"We can work through this" he gave a chuckle and tried to hide a grin, "We can also help you with your romance problems."

I don't know what happen but I couldn't hold it in any longer, tears came freely like someone had opened up the flood gates. Through my blurry vision I could see Lucy stand and walk to me, arms so in circled me. And I felt at total peace, and I knew I has been given a second chance. I could start all over and get out of the hell of a sorry life I had. There was no other way to explain how I felt except total bliss. Lucy whispered soothing words to me as I clung into her like she was my life line. Carmon and David were silent but I could feel the hope and welcoming feeling rolling off them in waves. David handed me one of his black handkerchief and I took it gladly. Whipping my eyes and face clear of tears I took a deep breath and licked my lips and quickly found the salty tast of tears addicting. Lucy sat on the arm of my chair but didn't stop rubbing soothing circles into my back.

"Then we'll start right away if that's what you like." Peter said. I didn't need to think it over and quickly nodded my head before I changed my mind on the whole things. Taking the plastic bag and Altoids he put them into one of the draws and locked it.

"Well all you can do now Bella is try resisting the ergs of doing anything to get more Cocaine and Heroine."

"You did the right thing." Lucy whispered into my ear. I nodded and she stood.

"Would you like something to eat, a girl your size needs to eat you know." she said and to get her point across she gave one of my arms a squeeze.

"I don't know you guys are already doing so much for me, I don't want to seem as if I'm taking advantage of you guys." I whispered, through sniffs of course.

Carmon shook her head and stood before guiding me into the extremely large kitchen. All the appliances where stainless steel, and the refrigerator, the refrigerator was huge. The counter tops where made of black marble and the knobs on the cabinets were also stainless steel but with gold trim. It had a modern style to it that seemed to pull it altogether. If this was what the kitchen looked Like I couldn't wait to see what the rest of the house looked.

Carmon sat me down at one to the chairs at the counter as she took a seat next to me. Lucy on the other hand pulled on a dole black and gold apron before getting set for cooking.

"So Bella tell me about your self. You'll be over here a lot now, might as well get to know each other." Carmon said after a long pause of silence.

"Uh well as you know I work at a casino, I don't have a favorite color, and well there's not much to know about me." I said nervously. Had it really been this long since I've talked to some one.

"Oh and I'm majoring in foreign languages. I guess that's got to count for something." I quickly added on. She smiled and laughed as my discomfort.

"That's cool so what can you say so far." Carmon said. Instead of telling her I decided I could gain some points and my pride back by showing her.

"è piuttosto difficile ma credo che sono sempre stato bravo in lingue che è facile per me" I said quite fluently that it all probably blended in together.

"That's so cool, I can only speak Romanian and Spanish." she said. From the corner of my eye I saw Lucy staring shocked before smiling and going back to cooking.

It wasn't long before my food was finished and through that time me and Carmon got to know each other very well. Lucy sat a plate of steak, smashed potatoes, carrots, and other veggies down in frot of me. I ate at a slow pace but continued to answer question from Carom and sometimes Lucy. After that David and Peter gave me a tour of the house and I finally noticed that Mary, and Mark weren't here. I questioned them on this and they said they were just friends visiting for the weekend. It was already getting hard to resist the temptation of finding some Cocaine no matter the size it could have been the size of rice and I would probably jump in joy. But I knew that- that was just my addiction talking, not  
>my heart ; the thing that wanted to walk free if a handicap or wanting to hold the one I love.<p>

The heart is a fragile muscle and shouldn't be put under stress or kept from it's needs and most want. So this is what I thought of as I sat on the couch in the Jackson's home. It was about time I left and began my journey back to Charlies house.

"Be safe." Lucy said and gave my cheek a small kiss before pulling me into a hug.

"And stay away from anything you use to hang around when you smoking." Peter added on in a fatherly tone. I smiled and waved them goodbye before making my way to my motorcycle sitting on their drive way.

I took many twist and turns as I went the long way back home. Pulling into the drive way I saw Jacobs motorcycle in the drive way and knew he was most likely still here. I didn't question it though. Pocketing the key I walked into the house I said a small hello to Charlie and Sue before heading up to my room. God hadn't prepared me for what I saw next, there on Leah's bed was a half naked Jacob and Leah in nothing more than her undergarments. They seemed to be just as surprised because they pulled out of the heated kiss they were having. I knew there wasn't much I could do since neither of them knew if my feelings for Leah; so instead I balled my hands to the point I could feel my nails sharpen and dig into my skin drawing blood.

Jacob scratched his cheek in embarrassment before he stood and started to pull on his shirt.

"Now Bella it's not what you think." Leah said walking towards me. She seemed worried and when she took my hand I pulled it out of her hold.

It burned to be touched by her, and it wasn't helping that Jacob was still in the room too. I shook me head and just gave her small smile before walking into our walk in closet and pulling out a pair of shorts and a tank top. My scars had healed up by now so it was safe to start wearing them again.

"No it's fine." I said walking towards the door, "I'm sorry for interrupting, please continue." I closed the door to my room just as I saw Leah open her mouth t speak further lies to me, but I didn't want to hear it.

**Leah's Pov.**

Oh shit, Bella did not just see me making out with Jacob on my bed, in our room, in my underwear. What has the world come to! I had tried to explain but we both knew there was nothing to explain, she had seen it with her own eyes and she knew what we had been doing. I sat on my bed with a huff and pulled the covers of my mostly naked body. Jake had pulled on a shirt but had yet to leave the room, instead he took a seat on the edge of my bed.

"She's not going to tell anyone if that's what your thinking." he whispered into my ear as he stroked my hair.

"And how do you know that!" he jolted back at my sudden outburst, "She's changed Jake, can't you see that, she's not the fragile scarred Bella we once knew. She's daring, mysterious, and not afraid to speak her mind." I said to her trying to show him reason.

He seemed shocked by this new information, before his eyes widened in realization. He finally understood what I was trying to get by, what I had been trying to keep out of my mind for the past two weeks. He paced the room, before finally getting close to me.

"We'll talk to Sam about this tomorrow. She's obviously hiding something." he whispered. I nodded and he stood before giving me a kiss and walking towards the door.

"She really isn't the same is she?" he said, looking over his shoulder his eyes connected, I nodded. He gave a sigh of frustration before making his way to his motorcycle.

As soon as he left Bella walked back into the room murmuring something in a different language. It was really unfair that she knew all the different languages, and we would never know what she's talking about. She could be planning on to kill right in front of us and we would never know, but I knew it wasn't that she was murmuring about. I decided I would confront her on what had happen that day two days ago.

"Bella?" she whipped around and looked at me shocked, almost like she hadn't seen me sitting here, "What do you dream about."

She seemed even more shocked at my question, and she stuttered and stumbled over her words. And it made no since on what she was saying because as usual when she got nervous or was avoiding answering one of my questions she switched to any language but English.

"W-cosa vuoi dire, io sogno di qualsiasi cosa una persona normale farebbe"

"Bella...Bella." she was still going on in her chosen language. So I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her a little bit. "Bella! English please." I finally asked.

"Sorry." she said. Her muscles went tense under my hands and I could see how they shifted in her arms. I let go of her before I did something I would regret and I could also hear the sigh of relief she let out as I stepped out of her bubble.

"So what do you dream about?" I questioned her again.

"Things." was all she said before she turned off the lamp on her side and crawled into her bed for the night.

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><p><strong>Review please and sorry, but I'm way to lazy to translate what the language says, and any mistakes in this chapter are my own<strong>** fault, i still don't have a beta and i didn't read through this one like I usually did, so Sorry Sorry, Sorry.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here it is my friends chapter 4 of My Sorry Life. in this chapter I have a even bigger surprise, hope you like it, and think of it as a Christmas present or what every your celebrating right now. Also Seth is finally introduced in this chapter, as well as Charlie gets some screen time.  
><strong>

**_Started: December 10, 2011_  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Leah's Pov.<strong>

As Jake had promised me last night we went to Emily's house where no doubt Sam would be, night time had come quickly. He knocked only once before the door opened wide and Sam motioned us in. From what Jake had told me Sam already knew of why we were here. The Cullens as well had been suspicious of Bella's action lately, and had come the meeting. I sat tense next to Jake who had put his arm around me, I knew he was trying to comfort me but I just could deal with the closeness right now, not after what Bella saw.

"Well for those of us that don't know why we're here." Sam said looking around at the faces that were in the living room, "This meeting is about the up coming serious matter on Bella's changed self, and the werewolf that had been seen last week."

Everyone but the Cullens, Jake, Sam and me seemed confused and I couldn't help but stare in shock. They hadn't noticed, they had been so lost in their own lives to even worry about the one girl that had brought them all together. Rage raised in me and I didn't understand why, I had done the exact same when I had started my relationship with Jake. My attention then flickered over to Charlie and my mom who sat almost as confused as the others, but there was also a hint of fear in their eyes at the mention of the werewolf.

"What's wrong with my girl." Charlie said, it was the first time I actually heard worry in his voice for Bella. Mom gripped onto him as he started to fidget.

Of course though Charlie had to know about us shape-shifters since her married my mom. It would seem weird if I phased in front of him, we couldn't have another father dieing from a heart attack.

"That's why we're here, we don't understand what's wrong, but she's withdrawing from us. Have you noticed anything different about her lately." Sam asked.

Silence set in instantly as everyone started to think over what could be happening with Bella. From the corner of my eyes I saw Alice and Edward having a small argument that was getting worse by the second. Bronzy was obviously anger and Alice seemed close to hysteric as she continued to tell Edward her side of her story, or get her point across. Jake followed my line of vision and soon everyone was staring at the still arguing leeches.

Suddenly Edward jumped to his feet making the house shake. "Tell them!" he screamed at Alice.

"I can't I promised, this is none of our business! She wants to get through this on her own, why can't you see that!" Alice screamed back jabbing her finger into the other leeches chest.

Edward growled and I felt Jake pull me closer and tense up in case something went bad, and he needed to defend me. Edward slapped Alice's hand away, and stared her in the eyes. "Tell. Them." he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Edward, Alice what's going on."Carlisle said taking his role as the father figure and stepping in before things turned out bad.

"Tell them!" Edward continued to scream at the smaller vampire. Jasper had by now taken his place next to his mate, his jaw locked, tight.

"I can't we don't even know if it's true yet, she could have just been messing with us." Alice said.

I don't know how, but I think I know what was wrong as it suddenly all came together in my head. The smoke smell the baggy eyes, the irritated behavior, the fancy new cars, and the call. I bolted up as my eyes widen, I stalked over to the pixie leech and looked her in the eyes with a cold stare. Behind me Jake had stood but when Sam held up his hand he sat back down. I gave a nod to him, This was my business and mine alone.

"Alice." I said my voice coming out colder than I meant for it to, "Is she.." I trailed I couldn't say it.

Alice looked at me eyes as wide as the moon when she figured out what I was asking. She hung her head and I knew I was right. My hand went to cover my mouth instinctively, and I turned to Jake.

"Lee-Lee what's wrong, what's wrong with Bella." Jake whispered into my ear as he wrapped his arms around me.

The room went completely silent as I the next four words left my mouth, "She's addicted to Cocaine." there was a thump and my head snapped to where Charlie sat. He was now on the floor, knocked out.

**Bella's Pov.**

I had gotten zero sleep since all I could think of was what I had seen Jacob and Leah doing last night. So it's safe to say when I arrived at the Power's house I was completely drained, and it didn't help that I was dieing for some cocaine. Pulling into the drive way of their house, I hopped off my bike and walked the short distance to the door. Pulling the spare key out that they had given me I let myself in, I walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch. Now that I was at peace in the comforting home of my new friends I fell into the my dark and mysterious world of dreaming.

I jolted awake and sighed happily when I noticed that I was still on the couch in the Power's house. But I could hear the blaring sound of music, and cooking coming from the kitchen, and I became aware of the hand running through my hair. I looked up and my eyes locked on with Carmon's dark green eyes. She looked like she was in a daze but the smile that appeared on her face told me other wise.

"Sorry, you where having a nightmare, and I couldn't help myself." she said, but she never stopped running her hands through my hair.

I closed my eyes tight as I remember my dream. I had it a lot but it was still a nightmare, I was standing in the forest by my house watching a motorcycle pull in but it wasn't Jake on it with Leah it was me. As we had gotten off we suddenly got into an argument and she had obviously said some hateful words, and then I started screaming at her and she screamed at me. Things just went terrible and then she said the worse words and left me, romance wise and physically. I screamed after her but she never did, and then I heard a gun shot and everything would go black, and I would wake up.

"Lucy's making some lunch for you." Carmon said bringing me out of my monstrous thoughts that were suffocating me.

"Thanks...for everything." I said, sitting up and getting off the couch. Carmon followed me and we soon found ourselves in the kitchen with a plate in front of me.

"So tell me about this girl your in love with." Carmon said with a small smirk when I blushed.

"Well to start her name is Leah Clearwater."

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><p><strong>Leah's Pov.<strong>

After we had gotten Charlie to wake up the questions started to come from everyone like water. Alice sat over whelmed in her chair but her eyes never wavered away from me, like she knew my questions where the most important or some secret cause to all this mess.

"She does." Edward said cockily, and I growled I wasn't in the mood for this crap.

"Edward don't irritate her, she's already stressed out about this." Alice said her voice was small like a mouse, but thanks to my hearing I caught what she said.

"So what are we going to do, my little girl is somewhere sitting getting high with he druggie friends, and maybe even over dosing." Charlie grounded out through clenched teeth. Everyone was annoyed and angry at themselves.

"Well Charlie not to make matter's worse but she's already overdosed before, a few times in fact it's hard to believe she's even alive." Alice said with a matter of fact tone, this only made matters worse. I heard Charlies heart speed up and I knew this wasn't good for his blood pressure.

"How long has it been going on?" it was the best question we could start at the moment, and it could lead to more questions, which could come to the solution of our problems.

"Since the Newborn battle so about three years, and it's only getting worse, she's killing herself."

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Jake growled out, though he didn't show it Bella was still very much his friend, and he was still very. very protective of her.

"She made me promise not to tell, I had made so many promises to her before that I went back on, I couldn't do it again, not when i thought things were getting better." Alice said, and I saw her eyes fill with tears that could never fall. Jasper wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple.

"Why is she doing this?" I finally asked. I was surprised by her answer.

"Love, unrequited love, and to punish herself." Alice said, her eyes stayed clued to me.

"Love...Love, she's doing drugs because somebody won't love her!" I said my voice laced with anger, and I gripped the arm of the chair so I didn't do something I would regret.

"Leah I'm sure you understand more than anyone here what it feels to watch the one you love be with another," he eyes flickered over to Same and my heart clenched as I relived those days. It had been hard, and I was on the verg of going insane, I needed an outlet and beating down on everyone had seemed to help. I knew I was hurting everyone in some way, but i decided not to acknowledge it.

"The only difference with Bella is that she didn't have anyone to turn to when this happened, you did. You had Seth, your mom, and your father, she has no one, and it doesn't help that not even her own father was there to help. she had once again been selfless and let Charlie have the time of his life dating your mom."

"Who is it." I finally asked after sitting in silence for a while thinking over this new information.

"I can't tell you, you'll have to ask her yourself." Alice said. Great more mysteries, just when I thought we were starting to solve our problems, shits about to go down soon.

**Bella's Pov.**

"So let me get this straight you left Edward when he fell for your old friend, Angela but then you realized your love for Leah who hooked up with this kid named Jacob and Leah's also your step-sister and you caught them about to do it in your room." Carmon said her voice dramatic and shaking her head.

"Your life my dear friend is messed up." she added on. I nodded in agreement and I looked over to Lucy who had taken to cleaning the house, or the kitchen more specially to clear her mind.

Looking at the clock on the stove I took notice that it was about time for me to head back to Charlie's house. "I should be on my way, every ones probably worried." I murmured off towards the end. I knew no body would be waiting for me when I got back, even if they did figure out I was addicted they wouldn't care. My only hope to survive is with the Jackson's.

"Do you really." Carmon said pulling me into a big hug. I rested my chin on top of her head and nodded.

"Yea but I'll be back tomorrow." I whispered and she laughed before pulling back so Lucy could give me a hug and a kiss on the forehead. She was really like my other mother now, and it had only been a few days since we met.

"Tell Peter and David I said bye okay." they nodded in agreement and I walked out of the house to my motorcycle.

I wasn't tried by the time I got home and of course the house was completely silent when I pulled into the drive way. Deciding it would be better not to wake them I climes the tree to our bed room window. Pushing it open with skilled hands I slipped in. I thought I had been successful, but when the lamp turned on and I saw Leah sitting on my bed giving me a stern look I knew for sure, I wouldn't be able to deny it.

"Where have you been it's one in the morning." Leah hissed through her teeth at me. She stalked towards me and I shuffled around her never turning my back to her.

"I was out with some friends that's all." I lied through clenched teeth said, this had been the most I had talked to Leah the passed year, and I wondered why the sudden change.

"Really have you." she said questioning me, and I glared at her. I was in no mood to be challenged, and the animal in me was ready to show it's dominance.

"Yea, why do you care." I asked just as I was locked between her and me bed. Her face was so close I could smell the shampoo she used, coconut and strawberries. Jacobs favorite and now my own.

She raised an eyebrow but stepped back a little. My hand twitched as I stopped my animal side from gripping onto the girls waist and throwing her onto my bed. She had no clue of the danger she was putting herself into right now, I was much faster and stronger then she and the pack could ever hope to be. And when she leaned in again though this time lower and sniffed my coat I had to grip the sheets of my bed. I watched as Leah reared back, and I knew why the smell of smoke lingering on me was strong, thanks to my coat.

"Are you sure you where hanging with friends." she looked me in the eyes,"You weren't I don't know hanging around drug dealers, or at work a little to long."

I bared my teeth at her and gave a hiss as I pushed her back. Fear struck in her and she walked back as I towered over her, the tables had turned she was the one on defense and I was the one asking the questions. She only got to her bed before she fell back, leaning over her I let my hands rest on either side of her head. I couldn't help but realize how welcoming this position would be if the situation had been different, and the anger we were both feeling was gone. Leaning down I hotly but angrily whispered into her ear.

"You stay out of my business I'll stay out of yours." she didn't answer immediately and it was only then that I let one if my hands rest on her hip. Giving it a squeeze, but only hard enough to make her realize I wasn't in the mood to be challenged.

"You wouldn't dare." she hissed our noses bumping as I stared her in the eyes.

"Do you wish to try me and find out."  
>I said and before I knew what I had done I pressed my lips to hers.<p>

The kiss had been everything I could have hoped for. My wolf gave a howl of approval, and I couldn't agree even more. She didn't kiss back at first but when I pulled her closer to my body, her legs wrapped around my waist and the heels of her feet dug into my back as her hands found their way into my hair. This only stoked my confidence and I deepened the kiss, running my tongue over her lips in a plead for entrance. She gasped and I took my chance, letting my tongue snake it's way into her mouth were we then began our battle for dominance.

I would have won if she hadn't grinded her self into me, making me release a moan. Though this was a small cut to my leopards pride it only became more aroused at having a strong mate. My shot open as the though finally entered my brain, Leah was dating Jacob. How could i have been so stupid to forget that, Leah was just using me right now, trying to win me over to make sure I didn't tell anyone what I had caught them doing. But it felt so good, to finally have her in my arms, how could I possible give this up.

"Leah..." I tried to pull out of her grasp but her legs kept that from happening, she showered my neck with kisses, "Leah ...stop."

As much as it hurt me and my leopard to say that it had to be done. She found a particular sensitive spot on my neck and sucked and bit on it, a moan came from me and I suddenly felt ashamed of doing this. A whimper left my lips without my command, and I felt my pride finally shatter.

"You.. won't.. tell anyone will you." she asked my and I felt my Heart shatter and break, I had nothing left, not my pride, my ego, or my heart.

She was doing this as a bribe. I let her pull me in for kiss, but it didn't feel the same, it burned, and made my chest ache. I pulled back and straighten up, unlocking her legs from around me,and pulling her hands from my hair. This isn't how it was suppose to be, I would have to learn that it just wasn't meant to be, me and her. I left her lying on the bed as I pulled off my coat and flung it onto my bed.

"You won't tell any one will you." she asked again. She was terrified that much of my knowledge, it broke me into even more pieces.

"No, I'll keep it secret." I whispered, she was oblivious to the pain that laced my voice, "Just stay out of my business."

Things just weren't looking up for me, first Edward leaving for Angela, then my realization for my love if Leah, and now this shit! I need to cool down. I didn't bother to grab my coat ad I walked out of our room and into the forest behind our house. Once I deep into the woods I proceed to strip hiding my things under under a hollow tree before letting my leopard take over. The phasing was faster bur still just as painful, but I would learn deal with it, just like I was going to have to deal with everything else.

I sprinted off towards the clearing I had first met another leopard. I didn't expect her to be there but she was, sitting by the stream staring, at me of course. I knew she wouldn't hurt me so I jumped over the river and trotted over to her. She licked my mouth, in leopard language of a kiss. I gave a huff and she gave one that sounded more like a laugh. It was relaxing but I could feel the rage still left in me, so I whimpered. She acted as if she hadn't heard it, saving what ever was left of my ego. Instead she tugged on my fur in a sit down motion, I snapped at her not really in the mood to be ordered around. But my anger was soon replaced with regret and even sadness when my teeth had actually managed to bit into her front paw. She gave no yelp or whimper but just stared at me, like she knew I had been having a bad day and was just agitated. She licked her bleeding wound a few times before tugging my fur again, this time I listened and sat down. She was smaller than me but I knew she was stronger. She licked my furry face and it wasn't until she liked behind my ears did I realize that she was giving me a bath. I gave a large huff and I knew she was smiling behind me. It was an embarrassing process but it was also very calming and relaxing.

By the time she had finished I was calmed down enough to ask forgiveness. It was accepted and then she laded back in the grass with a huff. But I wasn't having that I bit her ear lightly and tugged on it in a motion that demanded the she-leopard get up. She did nothing, but when when I gave a whine and a small roar she gave a huff before standing up. But she didn't run away like she usually did when she played but instead searched the grass and quickly spotted a rodent near by. She gave me a look that said 'watch and learn', stalking on her bully towards the small animal. She waited and hid her face in the grass before pouncing on the big rat. Biting it in the neck she was able to quick kill it painlessly.

She walked back over to me before dropping the animal at my feet she gave a look that obviously said 'now you try'. I accepted her challenge and began working on catching one of the rodents. I'll tell you this, it's much harder than she made it look.

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><p><strong>Leah's Pov.<br>**  
>What have I done, what the fuck have I done! I basically just raped Bella but from the way she was moaning it sounded as if she was liking it. And when did she learn how to hiss like that! I blame this all on my fathers genes, if I had taken after mom more I probably wouldn't have ended up becoming a shape-shifter, fall for Jake, and maybe just maybe I would still be with Sam but there's a fat chance of that happening.<p>

God my days are just getting stranger by the minute, next thing you know I'll be in love with Bella. I heard my wolf give a growl of disapproval at my thinking, it was knew because usually she just stayed quiet in the back of my head, just watching everything through my eyes like some reality comedy tv show. Jake wasn't going to like this, and I'm sure I won't be able to hide from the guys for long, maybe another few weeks or so but not long. I should have stopped it the second her lips touched mine, but it had felt so good, the way she was making me feel, it was nothing compared to how Jake does. Jake made me feel butterflies, but Bella oh god I think I died and went to heaven. She had been surprisingly gentle and took her time in make the kiss perfect, unlike Jake who's were always rushed, like we were going to get caught, and he only ever sought out for his own needs.

Holy shit! Does this make me gay now. I let a sigh out, my eyes had yet to leave the door that Bella had walked out of just over a few hours ago. She had been gone the whole night and had still yet to return, I could only hope that she wasn't dead under some tree. Which only made me realize that she hadn't answered my question. With a sigh I pushed off of my bed and walked out of my room and down the hall to Seth's room. Knocking on the door I heard him groan and then murmuring, and then a thump that was no doubt him falling out of his bed.

The door cracked open and I had to keep from laughing at his bed head, "It's time to wake up, we have patrol today."

"Fine, be down in a minute." he murmured before shutting the door in my face. I smirked at having gotten my brother up before walking down stairs.

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><p><strong>So this will be my last post until after Winter Break so review and PM me if you have any questions. I posted pictures of some things for this story but there only minor things. As usual Mistakes are my own, but I think I might try and find a beta reader soon, so if you have any recommendations review or Pm me about that too.<br>**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay here it is Chapter 5 of My Sorry Life, surprised await you my friends.**

_**Started:**** December 10, 2011****  
><strong>_

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><p><strong>Leah's Pov.<strong>

I woke up the next morning and Bella was still gone. I pinned it down to her probably doing her regular routine, but I knew that was a lie. I knew she was still outside in the woods somewhere trying to avoid me, after what we had done yesterday I don't blame her, I would be disgusted with myself to, in fact I am. How could I have stooped so low as to use sex to get my way.

As the days went by Charlie and mom got more worried. And it had become aware to everyone in Washington that there had been a series if people bring mauled by an animal. Really I just hoped Bella was okay, she could have been injured, or if worse came she could have been killed.

But this time apart from her had given me a great deal o time to think over my actions, and of her own. I had never seen her act like that, sure there was the occaousonal glare and flash in her eyes, but I had never seen her become so primal before. And it only scared me further when I realized, I like it, I loved the way she ha been able to dominate me so quickly and put me into my place, but she had also been gentle when she had touched me. And well I couldn't understand why I had done it. The erg to kiss her had been there for quite some time, but when she had locked lips with me, it had given me the courage to do what I've been meaning to. But once I had started I couldn't stop especially with the way she was moaning in my hear, it had been to much for my teenage sexually frustrated body to handle.

**Bella's Pov.**

I was being childish again, but how could I not. The love of my life had just made out with me and it was to keep her hind skin covered with her boyfriend. I had spent the last few days in my cursed wolf form hunting, it was nice to sink my teeth into my prey and hear their neck snap and their blood fill my mouth with bittersweet, salty blood. This was entirely new to me, the feeling of wanting to kill something. I never ate them thought only when I was really hungry, the first time I did I actually ate dirt to get the awful tast out my mouth. But my beast hungered for it, for the adrenaline, and hunt. It was hard to control her too, something the she-wolf didn't like. But I quickly learned that not phasing wouldn't help either, in fact it hurt even more.

I spent most if my time specifically in the clearing with the she-leopard. She came ever other day, but she made for missing time with me by showing me how to hunt and other things like that, but we mostly wrestled and played chase. It wasn't until the fourth day though a surprise came. I had been doing my daily thing, tugging on the she-leopards ear until she gave in and played with me. But today was different, much different. I had snuck up on the lying leopard and was ready make my next move when I had suddenly been pounced on by something else. I saw pearly white teeth, a black blur and bright yellow eyes. A yelp escaped my lips when I felt teeth sink into my shoulder and I rolled around on my back trying to get the thing on top of me off. But this only caused the animal to clench tighter to me. I turned my head just in time to see the she-leopard stand and run towards us. Blood was covering the green grass and I managed to roll over and get from such close range with the animal, a growl coming from my lips, teeth bared, and the fur on my back standing up.

The she- leopard was soon in front of me growling and the animal I now could tell to be a wolf stopped it's advance on me. His face titled in confusion, and I knew something was seriously wrong. His eyes widen before he whimpered and walked to the she-leopard, head close the ground. As he came closer and the apologizing look became to much the leopard whined and met the wolf half way.

Okay so now I knew for sure something was going on, what wolf was this nice to a leopard, unless..they were mates. My suspension was confirmed when the two sat next to each other standing so close they were just barely touching the other. But as o gave a whine and fell over I saw I instantly the wolf and she-leopard alike rush to my side, like worried parents. The she-leopard licked my wound before dragging me to the small river and I sat in it, letting the water was the wound until it was nothing more than a raw pink flesh wound.  
><strong><br>Leah's Pov.**

I was walking down the stairs having just waked Seth up again, when y heart clenched and stopped for a second. There standing by the kitchen counter was Bella, blood was all I could see on her. I ran over to her my body slightly shaking. What the hell happened to her? The wound was deep and I could tell if I didn't do something quickly it would get infected. But as I stepped closer to Bella she moved back, and it angered me.

"Bella! This is no time for personal feelings, let me look at your wound." I said. She looked at me through pained eyes and something in me shattered.

I cupped her cheek and caressed the corner of her lips, dried blood sticking to my hand once I pulled away.

**Bella's Pov.**

The pain was blinding and though I wanted to scream I didn't. Jake and the others had boxed me in and it would be an understatement to say that I had escaped easily. The wound was deep, really deep. And blood was everywhere, me hands were drenched in my blood, my shirt was ruined, and I'm not even sure if the she-wolf had gotten away safetly.

I could hear Leah asking me to show her my wound but the large foot long cuts on my side and the blood rushing through my head wasn't helping me think straight. Befire I knew what was happening Leah had grabbed a towel and pushed it against my wound, a yowl slipped through my lips and I barred my teeth at her.

"Keep pressure on it." she whispered to me, and she took my hand and placed it on the wound now cover.

Her hands were soaked, in my blood. I frozen as my mind processed this, her hands were drenched on my blood.

"Seth!" Leah yelled urgentacey laced in her voice.

"Yea, I know I'll stay here incase mom and Charlie come by. How is she!"

"Not good, I'm taking her to the hospital." Leah replied and grabbed my hand before rushing me to my car, only stopping to pull the keys out off of the key holder.

The drive there was hectic and I knew now to never let Leah drive, we had almost crashed twice and that was only going down our block. Upon stopping in the front of the drive way, Leah rushed me into the building. Everything went hectic from there and along sometime half way through it I had passed out from loss of blood.

When I next woke up needles were all over me, and I was on the not so comfortable hospital bed stained with my blood. There was a light beeping and I knew it was the heart rare monitor, it was slightly annoying. But that went away when I felt a sharp pain in my side, and the cast on my foot all but announced that I had a broken leg. I moved to pull up my shirt to look at the wounds but a voice told me different.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." I turned my head and to my surprise Lucy was standing next to me

"You'll rip the stitches out." she said next answering my unspoken question.

I had expected Leah to be here or maybe even Charlie or even Sue and Seth. But there was nobody, no one at all had come to see me but the female in front of me.

"Have Charlie and Sue dropped by." I managed to whisper out. My throat was dry and my lips where chapped.

The way her eyes drifted to the floor was enough for me to know her answer. So no one really had come to see me yet, maybe they were tried of me. My wondering was quickly replaced with questions and confusion as I stared at Lucy's hand. A but mark just about the size I had made on the she-leopard was on her hand, and it finally clicked in my brain.

"Lucy?" my voice came out raspy and dole and I'm sure I sounded like Kenzi from Lost Girl after she's had a hangover.

She looked at me with eyes filled with love but also hope. She took a seat in the chair next to mine and her scarred hand took hold of mine.

"We have a lot to talk about." she whispered, a small smile gracing her lips.

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><p><strong> Confusion should and shouldn't be in you at he time, if it is there is a reason. The reason I rushed through checking this thing like Flash from Marvel, so sorry really sorry. Please review<strong>.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here it is chapter 6 of My Sorry Life**,** I hope everyone had a great new years and Christmas.**

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><p><strong>Bella's Pov.<strong>

Me and Lucy stared at each other for minutes, that were blending in together. The silence was finally broken when she cleared her throat. She seemed nervous and surprisingly on the off hand I wasn't. I guess so much shit had been happening in my life right now that everything that was suppose to be surprising was like second nature to me.

"I'm sure your wondering why" she took a few gulps of air, why was she so nervous, "We haven't told you what we are."

"We?" I asked, how many of us were there.

"We, there's eight of us now that you've showed up." that smile was still on her face, and it was genuine from how a sparkle seemed to reach her eyes, "Carmon, David, me, Peter, Mark, Mary, and Demetiro, we're all like you."

There was eight of us, and I didn't even dam no. They had been right in front of me and I had been to oblivious to even realize it. Suddenly I was chuckling and I saw Lucy give me a worried smile, that only made me laughed. I laughed so hard that just gasping for breath hurt. Once I came down from my high my eyes became blurry as tears released on their own.

"How long have you guys known about...me being...what are we exactly?" I asked.

"Not long, just when we first met you, but we had heard about you." she moved to sit next to me in my bed and I moved so I wouldn't squish her tiny body, "Among our kind your pretty well known."

"Let me guess, the Cullens."

"Yup, it's not very often that a 'human' can befriend a family of vampires and live to tell the story."

"So what are we?" I asked my eyes were clearing up as I stopped my dreadful crying.

"Well I'm a wereleapord but as for you your a mix; part werewolf part wereleapord."

"How? Charlie's not one... or at least I don't think he is. And my mother well she's had many secrets so she could be."

Lucy gave a sigh and wrapped her arm around me and kissed my temple. "I'll have to explain later, we have visitors."

Just as she finished the sentence the door opened, and she was out of the bed and standing by my side in a flash. To say I was surprised when Leah and Jacob along with everyone else but Charlie and Sue walked in would be an understatement. And to say I was close to fainting when Leah wrapped me into a hug was another. She seemed almost more happier than me, to know I was still alive.

"God don't fucking scare me like that." she whispered into my ear.

I wrapped my arms around her and nodded. Her shirt was still stained with my blood and it only now occured to me how server my injuries had been. She didn't seem addmendent to move from the position we were in and I wasn't about to ask her to. Though our moment was ruiened when Jacob just had to butt in with him and his big furry ass, but then again I have a furry ass now. Guess that insults off the list now.

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he waved at me, "How you feelin Bella."

Leah stood back up and retook her place at his side. I looked over to Lucy and she gave a nod and smile. Though it wasn't to reassure me I could answer the question, it was to remind me everything would be alright between me and Leah. That things were going to change for the better soon.

"Good other than I feel like I was hit with a thousand pound wrecking ball." I said trying my best to not glare at him or give him a hiss.

After that it got quiet, or at least until they all took notice of Lucy.

**Leah pov.**

Who was she! And why the hell did Bella smell like her. My sudden spike in anger made a low growl come from deep in my throat. Sam glared at me and I could only hang my head. I tried to calm myself by taking deep breaths but the sweet smell only made things worse.

It unlocked a distant memory and my eyes widen. That was the smell of that dam wolf! He or might I say she was in the room right now.

_Sam?_

_I already know._

_We have to do something she could be a danger to Bella right now!_

_Don't do a dam thing Leah!_

_But-_

I hung my head when Sam shook his head. Fine if I can't killer than I'll just get to know her.

"So Bella who's your friend?" I asked gesturing to the female beside her.

I let Jake wrap a arm around me and pull me into his lap once he had taken a seat in a chair. Sam mentally scolded me, but I pushed him out of my mind.

_Leah_

It was a warning I wouldn't follow, couldn't. I don't know why but just looking at the two females by each other made my heart clench. I knew why but I would never acknowledgment it. My wolf gave a growl at my denial and I could only grit my teeth. Latey she had become a problem and this made it extremely bad for two reasons. The 1) mating season was coming soon and she would want to jump the first person she sees, specifically Bella, and 2) it made it hard for me to phase, I was scared she would take control.

"This is Lucy, my friend." Bella said. Sam's eyebrow raised in question at me. I shook my head and mouth ' I'll tell you later '. he seemed pleased with that answer.

_Lee-lee what are you doin_

It was Jake and I didn't need to hear his voice to know he was worried. I shook my head and turned to give him a kiss on the lips. From the corner of my eye I saw Bella look away, almost as if it was a forbidden act we were doing. My wolf gave a growl of warning at me. She could careless what I did to whoever as long as it was out of Bella's sight. I'm sure I've imprinted on the dam girl but it...just can't be true.

We left after that and a five days later Bella was checked out of the hospital. Charlie and Sue were calmer now that she was coming home, and wouldn't just suddenly die. The first time they had went to visit Bella the doctors had not allowed them, saying they either needed to calm down or don't come back. I think it's safe to say that they are officially banned from Forks Hospital.

I had taken Bella's mustang again to pick her up, the car had been cleaned and any signs of blood had vanished like magic. She was standing outside the hospital on her crutches, a slight grimace on her face from what I hoped was the painful stitches and not me. She hopped to the car and I couldn't resist but laugh. I saw the smallest smile come to her face when she heard it and I realized just how long it had been since I had seen her and she had been home. I used that to justify my next actions. Leaning over just as she settled into the seat I planted a more than sweet kiss on her cheek.

"You ready to go home?" I asked.

"Am I getting older each year?" she answered my question with one of her own.

"Touche."

Starting the car back up I started the long but short ride back home in silence. It wasn't a awkward silence but more of a comfortable silence, one we both needed.

**Bella's Pov.**

I wasn't really ready to meet Charlie and Sue again. I really just wanted to lay down, take a few napes, heal up, and then get back to the Jackson's house so me and Lucy could talk more about my training. I'm sure your dieing to know what I am, hell I was dieing to know.

I'm a very special type of child of the moon. Though we were only related to the shape-shifters down at La Push because of our first wolf stage. I was a werewolf/wereleapord or so says Lucy. The reason I was so special, werewolves hated wereleapords and having a offspring that was a mix of the two was like trying to mix water with oil, it just didn't happen. Mixing two strong breeds like that would make superman look bad in all his tights and underwear glory. I had also learned that I was still a pup and had time for growing and progress, and that's saying something since I was Leah's size in her wolf form, how much bigger could I possibly get. We were the queens and kings of the night so we had great if not excellent vision at night, and my body temperature would slowly descend and rise depending on the weather. Fuck I was my own freaking heater. It was also demanded and forced that we change during all full moons. It had no real effects other than my phasing would hurt like hell that day. The thing I wasn't sure about was the part were I became fucking IMMORTAL!

Phasing was achieved much like the shape-shifters, think of something that made you angry and you could phase, but to phase back into a human was different, it was some what unasked for. As for packs well you were technically branded into a pack when you were born or accepted by the alpha but most packs got a tattoo to show it physically. Once you were accepted into a pack or branded you were allowed to share mental thoughts with your pack mates at all times, wolf form or human form.

I was rudely pulled from my thinking when the car jerked to a stop at a stop sign, and on instinct I couldn't help the next words that escaped my mouth as I turned to Leah.

"Dam baby girl calm down, this car is fragile." I said before thinking it through.

It didn't matter though as she just looked at me before laughing but then her face went serious. I did nothing as she pulled us over to the side of the road and put the car in park and turned the ignition off. I wasn't so sure I was liking were this was going and I had a pretty good clue.

"Bella I need you to answer me truthfully." Leah turned so she was looking at me, I nodded in approval and for her to go one, "Have you been doing drugs."

God dammit I knew she was going to ask that. I turned to look out the window, ashamed. The last person I wanted to know was her, what were my chances of winning her over know. My hands clenched and my jaw locked. She must have seen me tense up because soon her heated hand was covering my balled up one. My next actions must have shocked her. My other fist came down and punched the dashboard, rather hard might I add. I held my head in my hand, trying to calm my anger.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck," I murmured under my breath but I knew she still heard it.

"Bella?" she said questioning still in her voice.

When the tears came they must have been enough for her to know my answer.

"Dammit Bella that shit can kill you!" she gripped my hand tighter, "What the hell were you thinking."

"I was think none of you would care what fucking happened to me!" I wanted to leave, but I didn't. It was time I stopped running and faced this like a man or woman, "And you guys sure didn't until this year!"

"But to start doing drugs I'd have perferred you did cliff diving instead." she didn't give me time to speak.

"Are just stupid or having suicidal thoughts, Charlie's been freaking out over you." she took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself. Once she had she continued on.

"Is there another reason." she said.

"No"

"You sure because last time I check a little pixie whispered you were doing it for unrequited love."

Shit, I'm going to fucking kill Alice once this was all over. She had promised, what has the world come to were a promise doesn't mean shit anymore. I pulled my hand from hers, I don't like were this was going.

"Who is it." she whispered leaning in and moving a stray piece of hair from in my face.

"Its nobody."

"Bella stop lying, hasn't there been enough of that already!"

"I'm not-"

"Cut the bullshit."

"It doesn't matter she doesn't feel the same for me!"

"So it's a she."

I couldn't do this I snapped my mouth shut and turned to look out the window. She asked me the females name but I didn't reply, I've already said to much. She must have noticed that I wasn't going to answer because soon she started the car up and we were back on the road to Charlie's house. I know it's weird that I still referr to it as his house though I lived in it, but I it just didn't feel like home, it was more of Leah and Seth's home then it was mine. It wasn't long before we pulled into the drive way and she parked the car nicely in the garage next my motorcycle, if there was one thing I hated about my life right now; is not being able to drive my babies.

She handed me the keys before she hoped out and came around to open the door for me. I didn't say a dam thing to her as I got out and used my crutches to get into the house. Upon entering I was brought into a bone crushing hug by Sue, I returned it awkwardly, and then did the same for Charlie who soaked my shirt up with his tears.

"I'm so glade your all right bells." it was weird hearing him talk to me after so long.

"Yea me too."

"I have some food ready if your hungry." Sue said gesturing to where I could see Seth eating what looked like Pasta.

It smelled good but the need for sleep was much stronger. I shook me head.

"Nah I'm kind of just really tired, I'll get some later though, promise."

**Leah's Pov.**

A week later Bella got the stitches out, but remained with her crutches. A meeting had been held again and I told them what I had gathered so far. Alice had seemed a little happy at the information, but still refused to tell us the name of this mysterious female. There had been some awkward moments though between me and Bella like my current one.

I was helping her into the shower and that required removing her clothing. She was standing well leaning against the wall in front of me, and once again I took in her appearance, and the way she stood to be a few inches taller than myself.

I started the water first, and then turned back to her. I pulled off the wife beater she wore, and I noticed the slight tan she had started to get. Her muscles were larger than my own, and she was also much more leaner than me. Just from the way they flexed from the smallest of her movements put me into a trance. My eyes wandered further down until they reached her adodmen muscles, they were tight and well defined. God I fell like I had died and gone to heaven. I looked at her face and she had a smug look on her face. My fingers trance the three long scars that had turned a light pink and rested no more than inches away from her waist.

She shuddered under my light feather touches and I felt the sudden urge to kiss her. My breath soon turned into small panting and she was breathing deeply, her chest rising and falling in front of my very face.

I don't know why but I leaned up my hand, finding it's way at the nap of her neck. Pulling her down I crushed out lips together. She kissed me back and I wasn't sure if it was because she liked it our because we were both sexually frustrated. Her hands found my waist either way and the kiss was deepened. I pulled on her shoulders until she had me backed up against the sink.

I don't how but suddenly I was sitting on top of the white granite counter top. I ran my nails down her back loving the moan she produced. The she-wolf in me gave a growl of approval.

**3rd Pov.**

Bella gave a another moan as one of Leah's hand dragged hers up until it had found it's way under her shirt. Everything was Leah to her right now, her sense of smell was all Leah, her sight was only on Leah, her touch was only for Leah, and dammit her love was only for Leah too.

"More." Leah whispered against her lips ever so softly.

Bella made quick manage of discarding the natives shirt, leaving her in nothing but her under garments. She had been waiting for this forever, she knew Leah probably didn't understand she had feelings for an it was probably just sex to her but she wanted it. Her beast was starving for it, she would come up and agree with any excuse the other girl wanted so long as she understood what exactly they were doing.

"Fuck more." Leah managed to gasp out as Bella found the sensitive spot on her neck.

"Leah" Bella whispered into her ear and all the other female did was nod.

She understood.

With skilled hands Bella unsnapped the bukles on the pants of the panting girl. Leah hopped from the counter and kicked them off letting them join her top. Taking a step back Bella took in the appearance of her Leah. She mentally slapped herself, Leah was Jacob's she reminded herself. But unlike the last time she didn't let the thought hold her back, just like she should have down the other night.

Her fingers ghosted over the white bra Leah wore with a matching thong, she wondered if the girl had planned this. Reaching behind her she unhooked the bar and let it fall to the floor, her mouth went dry. As cold air blew over her nipples Leah gave a moan once as the harden. It was then that Bella move in for the strike, like a fox on the hunt she pounced on her prey. Her mouth slaving away at sending waves of pleasure over the body in front of her as she sucked on the harden nipple.

Her eyes dilated and she became instantly primal, much to Leah's pleasure. Her hands grabbed onto Leah's thighs hooking her fingers under so she didn't drop the girl as the moved over to sit on the covered tolite. With Leah now straddling her she had better accesses to the girl's body.

Leah gave a moan and everything soon went into a blur as she felt her she-wolf become restless. She was on a prowl, a prowl for a mate and she had found one. Her fingers found themselves in brown hair as Bella hands moved further down.

A gasp escaped her lips as two fingers entered her. Bella let her adjust to the new intrusion, and gave a smile at knowing she was Leah's first before slowly dragging her fingers out. She smirked when she heard Leah whimper, she had only ever dreamed about this, but to be allowed to finally have her way. It made her growl.

She roughly thrust her fingers back in started a slow pace, but kept her thrusts hard.

"Fuck Bella" the moan from her lips stoked her ego and she curled her fingers and the body on top of her bucked, "fuck yea, right there."

"You like this, you like me fucking your pussy." Bella growled out. The foul language was new to her but she couldn't help but notice how much wetter Leah got from it.

As Bella slowly worked her to a climax she quickened her pace. Small screams, moans, and swears left Leah's mouth as she got closer to her orgasm.

"Fuck...Bella I'm...fuck I'm coming." Leah managed through her labored breath.

"Scream my name." Bella growled, electric blue eyes staring into her.

"Fuck your beautiful." Bella whispered.

Suddenly she felt her fingers being clenched around tightly by Leah's walls. Leah pulled her up and tried to silence her screams with her lips. Much to Bella pleasure it didn't help and she still heard Leah moan her name over and over as she game down from her high.

Bella continued the pace of her fingers quickly bringing Leah back up to a climax. Bella shudder at the sounds of Leah's screams of pleasure, her muscles visibly shaking in excitement. Finally after a few more kisses and whispers of sweet nothings Leah managed to straightened from her slumped state on Bella. She licked her chapped lips at the sight of the pink claw scratches running down her chest and arms. It was sexy to her, Bella didn't have DD sized breast but the were fairy large, just how she liked them, and the shark tooth hanging from a silver chain into the valley between her breast brought back memories.

She had gotten it for her on the day they moved it, a peace gift between them. She hadn't received anything back but it had been expected. Though a year later Bella had gotten her piss drunk and that was the same day she had finally started her relationship with Jacob.

Suddenly she remembered.

"Bella you know this is a one time thing."

"Uhhh" Bella stared with pain filling her eyes to the brim, Leah was once again oblivious to it.

"I like my relationship with Jake, Bella this -is- a one time thing."

"Of course-"

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><p><strong>Cliff hanger, yay my first one. But know this ones longer, way longer then usual so I decided to stop here it seemed like a good Idea at the time. So what did you think of my first flirt, (sorry bros listening to I'm a flirt in the next room) I mean first lemon. Though I must admit I would love to see Kristen in nothing more than a shark tooth on a silver chain with scartches down her chest and shoulder (moans and sighs) the thought it's self is just...god that's sexy. Well reveiw tell me what you think Bella should say I have a idea but maybe you'll be able to convince me different<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry this is so late everyone I was having a hard time coming up with this chapter and i was working on getting one of my stories in the making of being published. But anyways here it is chapter 7 of My Sorry Life. This part of the story will have up to two parts or maybe three at most.**

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><p><strong>Bella's Pov.<strong>

"Of course this is only a one time thing." I said just as Leah finished dressing again.

"But don't try and act like you didn't feel it." I said. She froze and I stood to my feet.

I walked up behind her, my bigger body, and more muscled body looked monstrous compared to her's. I grabbed her arm gentle but in a firm hold. I leaned down and let my face find its way into the crook of neck. I took a deep breath, this just very well could be the last time I ever got to touch her.

"You felt it" I whispered into her ear, "the burning passion, the love I have for you. Don't try and fool your self into thinking he could ever mount up to it."

She shuddered against my body and I turned her head so I could press our lips together one last time. After this I would leave and keep my distant, I wouldn't talk to her, I wouldn't help her unless she was in a life threatening danger. After this I'm putting all her safety into Jacob's hands. God I hope I'm doing the right thing.

As I pulled back I stared into her dark chocolate brown eyes. They held both pain and love, for what reason I knew not and didn't want to know.

"No one can match the love I hold for you." I pulled away all together now, picking up my shirt, and pausing at the door to say a few last words, "il mio amore per te potrebbe schiacciare le montagne e divinità."

And then I was gone, putting on my shirt as I walked out if the house and to the drive way were a black avalanche truck was pulling in. Caremon sat in the drivers seat. Today I would be branded, becoming part if the Jackson's pack. Of course though I was nervous about getting the forever permanent tattoo of the pack. Finally allowing me to talk to them mentally and from afar and to be included on any matters that could very well change the lives of everyone in Forks and in the pack.

The drive was silent but short, Caremon seemed to have the same problem as me. The need for speed. My heat had been thumping loudly through the whole ride and it wasn't until half way through the short drive that I couldn't take it anymore.

"I had sex with her." I suddenly said.

It must have shocked her because we swerved and almost ran into a tree. This of course did not help to calm my wrecked nerves anymore than I thought it would.

"With Leah?" she asked. She wasn't looking at the road, but at me. One of her nicely done eyebrows raised.

"Yup."

"With Leah Clearwater the girl you like and just so happens to be your stepsister."

"Yup"

"Lea-" I cut her off.

"Yes that fucking Leah!" I yelled angrily.

I didn't mean to take my anger out on her but I was still trying to process the whole dam thing myself. How could I have been so stupid to go along with her acts, in letting my beast take over though Leah never noticed.

"Dam Izz way to go!" she was laughing and had a big smile on her face, that was becoming contagious. Soon I was smiling.

"Did you work that Swan magic or was it all just prince charming riding in." she asked. She was looking back at the road now, putting my life that much closer to being safer than it had been before.

"Actually she came onto me." I said. And it had been true, I had just stood there as cool as ever and suddenly we were having sex.

"Where? Kitchen, bedroom, the forest but than again your to clean for that one to be true."

"Bathroom." was all I said.

"What, tell me everything, I want all the details, and don't you leave a thing out." she said and seemed to step off the gas a little so I had time to explain everything in the length of time until we got to the large manor house.

Though it had been weird I knew this was her way of consoling me. Making me laugh, acting as if this was just a small drop of water in that big lake. It helped me relax and soon I was able to think only on the tattoos I was about to get, how excited yet nervous I was. Finally we pulled up into the garage and Caremon lead me around to the back of the house and into the small separate house they had in the garden.

The small black painted shack turned out to reveal a hidden compartment of stairs when you opened the door. It was dark and I couldn't help but wonder why.

"We keep it dark so that just in case we have any wanders finding this place they chicken out and run out of the place, you can't tell where your going unless you have werewolf or werelepoard in Lucy's case eyesight." Caremon explained as she pulled open the door and then the unlocked door that was made into the ground revealing the stairs.

My eyes quickly adjusted by dilating and suddenly I had that night vision you would see on the animal channel when they're recording things in the dark. Our spices must have come a long way for me to still have color vision while doing this. As we walked further door the stairs it became more bright. Finally reaching the bottom I no longer needed my dilated eyes to see.

The room I was in was more like a waiting lobby, we walked through another door on the right. Upon entering I was engulfed in a hug by Lucy and then a firm hand shake from Peter. David was by a chair that looked like something from a dentist's work place, but the needle machine, mountain of cotton balls and bandages reminded me that I was in fact getting a tattoo job done.

Now don't start thinking I just suddenly joined their pack, no over my days in the hospital Lucy and the others had come to see me multiple times and we had thought this over hard and long all together, thinking of the positives and negatives of it and what I should be allowed to do and what I shouldn't. In the end we had decided that since I was still a pup I would just come on the occasional hunt gathering, sit in on some meetings, learn the basics of werewolf culture, how to control my emotions; since they triggered my phasing, go on a few patrols and other shit like that. I don't know about you but that all sounded quite fair to me.

"Well Izz you ready for this. " David said as he patted the chair, I laded down getting comfortable on my stomach so my bare back was getting nipped by the cold air. It was where they would make the first of the three tattoos, " I'll be sure to make it as painless as possible, don't want to hurt the poor little puppy."

"I'll show you a puppy, you giant fur ball." I growled out.

With that I heard the machine start up and I just took a deep breath as he started to but the layout of the tattoo onto my back.

**Leah's Pov.**

Something came over me as the past events hit me. I leaned against the wall taking deep breaths my body shuddering as I did so. I gasped, I could still feel her body on me. My hand without command covered my mouth and I slide to the floor. Fuck I couldn't hide it anymore. No matter how much I wanted to deny it, or wanted to forget it. But the way I felt at total peace in her strong arms that held me ever so gently, or when she made that moment completely about me. I was in love with Bella Swan.

Sam had been right you can't fight it, god I'm such a hypocrite. I'm doing exactly what Sam did to me to Jake. My silent sobs where interrupted by knocking on the front door. I hope it's not Jake, I don't think I would make it looking at him right now.

Getting up I walked to the door, door bell still ringing hectically. Pulling it open I whipped my face of tears and put on a fake smile.

"Hey Jake what's up." fuck I can't just get a break! My smile started to slip and before he could notice I pulled him  
>into the house.<p>

I don't know why in my current emotional state. I could have slammed the door in his face, or better yet not have answered it at all. We walked into the kitchen, and I almost vomited when he wrapped his arm around my waist. As we talked it slowly started to slowly make it's way down to my ass.

"Jake please, not now." I said my voice was filled with pain but he seemed to be oblivious to it, just like I had done with Bella.

I've hurt her so bad, even though she agreed to the sex as a one time thing I knew she wanted it to have been more. I wanted it to be more than that but I'm a coward. I've hurt her more than need be and I would only break her heart more.

"What's wrong you've been avoiding my fir the past few weeks." Jake whimpered and leaned in closer to me.

His nose scrunched up, "why do you smell like Bella. "

I froze. Shit I forgot to take a shower. I leaned away, and I tried to jeep the thoughts of Bella out of my mind but the more I tried the more my wolf pushed thoughts of her into my head. Through hooded eyes I looked up at Jake. He had a frown set in place and his eyes where begging me to let him in.

But when I looked into them I only saw Bella's light chocolate brown ones. My heart clenched tightly in my chest and I shook my head.

"Its nothing I was helping her take a shower that's all." I whispered but the look in his eyes still didn't seem to go away.

"Leah whatever the problem is it's hurting you, and driving us apart." he said in a low voice, " I just don't want this to come between us."

"Jake there's nothing to worry about."

"Then why do you smell like Bella. "

**Bella's Pov.**

It took two hours for David to finish up the first tattoo on my back, a pair of wings. Peter said it was to symbolize our freedom; and how we had won our freedom from the vampires long ago during the years of the first world war, the second one was a very artistic done balance scale placed in the center of chest, it had been embarrassing at first what with my shirt off as well as bra I was bare to them all, the scale was to symbolize the balance we had to keep in our lives and that though we are werewolves we are also human and only together do we make one being. Lastly we had on tattoo of our choice I had picked to go with a poem to lay over my heart, a poem of ever lasting love. It read though:

A Single rose of love  
>A Single rose of devotion<br>A Single wish upon my lips  
>A Single thought of you<br>A Single desire to be granted  
>A Single moment of careless bliss<br>A Single love never to be broken  
>A Single rose for one last kiss.<p>

I had to repeat this poem over and over out loud so David could get the words right and then to add his own special touch he put it in cursive and had it inked a dark brown to match those of Leah's eyes. After wards her used a cotton ball to clean up the extra blood and then bandaged me up so that it could heal properly and not get infected in the process.

So after that we all had gone back into the house where I now sat talking over what to do in my current love situation with Lucy and Caremon. I was to preoccupied with finishing my sandwich and bottle of Dr. Pepper. I had made no plans to return back to Charlie's house just yet, and I knew both me and Leah would need space for a while. Who was I to ruin her relationship with Jacob, who was I to keep my ex-best friend from finding true love? Well I'm Isabella Swan of course but I'm not going to ruin something because I had been caught up with some stuck up vampire.

"When will I start my training?" I finally asked breaking up the argument that had been bound to come between the two females.

Lucy seemed a little skeptical at my sudden question, but as usual gave a gentle smile nonetheless, "When ever your ready. Though I recommend after you get your cast off. Our training can get a little bit rough sometimes."

I nodded and let the two females go back to arguing about my love life. Life was slowly turning for the better, I felt it.

**Leah's Pov.**

Bella didn't return that night or the night after that or after that one. It made my heart clench. How was it that even when I'm not trying to, I'm hurting someone I love. Me and Jake were slowly drifting apart, but I couldn't bring myself to care though.

Today another bonfire was happening and I wasn't expecting to see Bella there, hang out with Jake, and no get glares from Sam and Edward alike. I dressed simple a pair of my shirts and a tank top along with sneakers. I ride with Charlie and mom to La Push, since not only did Bella take her keys but not the car, and there was enough room in the back now since Seth was already down there running patrol.

When we arrived there everything just went from boring to even more boring. Jake was ignoring me and since I usually talked to him and sometimes Bella, I had no one to talk to.

Then suddenly my heart clench, she must be near. I looked around and it wasn't until I did another whole 360 did I see her coming out of her mustang. She looked different though, and it wasn't the new clothing she wore, or how she now stood to be a foot taller than me putting her at height with Sam if not taller. No she looked calm, in control, and her cast was gone. Her bright blue eyes locked on with mine as she walked past me and towards her usual seat on the log by the ocean. She was soon joined by Alice and a few other Cullen's much to my displeasure. It seemed as if everyone but myself could be around her, but then again I guess that's my own fault.

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><p><strong>Cliff hanger...again but this time i didn't mean to. I really wanted to get this part of the story out since it's been what almost a month or so since I've updated. anyways I hoped you liked it and any mistakes are my own. Please Review.<strong>

_**il mio amore per te potrebbe schiacciare le montagne e divinità.= **_My love for you could crush mountains and gods. (Italian)


	8. Chapter 8

**That's right everyone another chapter. Chapter 8 of My Sorry Life, open your gift and see what's inside.**** No really there's a surprise in this chapter, anyone that can tell me what it is get's a point.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Leah's Pov.<strong>

They didn't talk long, well that was a lie from what I could tell they didn't talk at all. Alice seemed to have said a few words and every now and then she would look at me, but other than that it was just the pixie talking as well as Bella's ex-leech. I had been so engrossed in watching them that I hadn't even noticed that Emily had sat down beside me.

"If I didn't know you were dating Jake I would say you were in love with Bella." she said. Her voice startled me and I jumped back on reflex my arm hitting the rock solid table I sat on.

My sudden yelp had gotten the attention of not only Jake but also Bella. I gave a nod to Jake and mouthed I'm okay before my eyes flickered over to Bella's. Our eyes only locked briefly before I saw her turn back around to stare at the ground in front of her, a little hesitation in her movement. I turned back to a Emily who was giving me a shy smile.

"God a fuckin warning would have been good Em." I said with a smile that was only slightly strained.

I had long since forgiven Emily and Sam for breaking my back, but that wasn't to say there still wasn't some pain at the memory. It wasn't everyday you break up with you boyfriend who is secretly a werewolf and then he gets together with you fucking cousin! I took deep breaths trying to calm my boiling anger. This was my own fault, Emily had no control over this and neither did Sam. Matter a fact neither of the two were my problem at the moment.

"Sorry" she mumbled and then looked over her shoulder towards Jake who was no doubt staring at me like a hurt puppy,"So trouble in paradise I take it."

I laughed, "Oh this isn't paradise, paradise is on a sandy beach far away from here with just me and my imprint sipping on a margarita and then having midnight activities."

"Of course," she manage through laughs it brought a smile to my face, this time a real one, "But no really what's the problem between you and Jake."

"Usually you would be starving for the attention he's giving to you right now but your not even giving him the time of day, which just so happens to be close to midnight."

"I'm just not in the mood today Em."

"Your never in the mood to do anything lately Leah," she whispered, and I gave a sigh as her hand ran through my hair. It had been some times since she had done that, three years if I think about it. Just before Sam stole her from me.

"What's the matter. Your all depressed, you haven't even taken a bite of your food." she poked the hamburger in front of me and her face scrunched up in disgust,"And your staring off into space like you just lost the love of your life."

"Em please I just want be left alone, and tell Jake to stop staring he's not helping himself more than he is me."

She nodded her head though he eyes told me that holding it all in wasn't good. She gave me a hug and then a kiss on the forehead before delivering my message to Jake and them going to sit next to Sam. I lade my chin back into my hand and then waited for Charlie to say it's time to go. My waiting and boredom had been interrupted by my phone vibrating.

I flipped it open and quickly read through it.

_Sorry we didn't tell you, me and Charlie left early. I saw Bella, see if she'll give you a ride back._

-S

God was my life even worth living now. I stood from my chair and walked over to Bella who still sat staring at the ground. At least she had taken the time to come.

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><p><strong>Bella's Pov.<strong>

If there was one thing that I loved about becoming a werewolf was that I had fast healing. The cast on my leg had been removed and I was free to walk around like a normal person...or as normal as I could get. It had been a last minute decision to come to the bonfire, but it was all thanks to Caremon and Peter who had so playfully kicked me out of the house.

We had gone shopping recently too, getting me new clothing that would feet better than my last ones now. I had grown another few inches putting me just at eye to eye level with Sam and taller than Jacob. Much to Caremon's displeasure I was wearing a pair of grey Jordan, black sweats, and a black wife beater. My tattoos where hidden well though I'm sure if I had picked my white top it would have been as visible as the sun.

With my enhanced hearing I managed to pick up the sound soft footfalls, I played it cool. Finally they came to a stop and I turned and the frown on my face deepened. Leah stood stiff like stone behind me, like she would have chosen to rather walk around the world three times than be here, I couldn't agree more. It seemed that even though I had decided I was going to let her live her life, Aphrodite refused to let me have the peace of a lonely life.

"Mom and Charlie left early and told me to ask you if I could have a ride?" she said.

I leaned back on the log as far as I could without falling off, my eyes stared out into the horizon that met the water, but continued to go on for endless miles. Finally after some thinking I looked up at Leah and frowned even more, she was as beautiful as ever.

"Can't Jacob give you a ride back home?" I asked.

She shook her head and then I saw it into her eyes, the pain, "We're in a fragile relationship right now, I don't think riding with him would help much."

I wanted to laugh, she was turning down a chance to fix something with her own boyfriend when in fact she had turned me down, as well to make something great. What runs through her head at times. Does she understand that we are real people with real feelings? That we can feel pain, as well as heartbreak? But nonetheless I would do as she asked, put my self through more pain than was dished out to me.

"Okay give me a few minutes and we can leave." I replied calmly.

My training with Caremon and the others was really doing wonders for me. Though I won't lie Lucy had been right they could get a little rough at times. My training schedule was really simple though. First I would have some meditation with Caremon; despite her energetic personality she could be quite mellow at times, Second I would have power training with David, Thirdly I would learn Werewolf culture from Peter, and then finally since I had started hunting with Lucy before, she taught me the rules and the do's and don't about hunting and fighting.

My special werewolf ability had yet to make an appearance, but David said I couldn't force it out. I was still young and they were still developing so he says, really I just think I'm a powerless werewolf. He told me his had made themselves known when he was around 18, which was late for werewolves. That means mine were really late, but supposedly I also started phasing late to so maybe everything was delayed with me.

I stood and turned around to find that Leah was already walking to my car. I shook my head, today had been good, but tonight was going to be a long depressing few hours. Before I could reach my car I was stopped by the arm. What was with people and touching me! I ripped my arm from the persons grasp and turned around on them, it was Jacob. My life can't get anymore worse can it.

His hands were up in surrender, but I could see the burning fire of anger in his eyes. He looked over my shoulder and I turned to follow his line of sight. He was staring at Leah who was sitting on the hood of my car. She was hugging her feet tightly to her chest and was staring blankly into space. I turned back to Jacob and we had a stare down, our jaws locked tightly.

Finally he broke under my intense stare, "What did you do to her." he whispered.

I was shocked by his accusation, "I didn't do anything to her."

"You must have she won't even look my in the eyes now." he said and then his anger surged and I saw his body start to shake, "Things were perfectly fine until you butted in!"

His yelling had caught the attention of everyone, but I didn't pay attention to them. He was really testing my control.

"Have you ever thought that maybe I wanted no part in any of this, with any of you. Maybe I didn't want to meet the Cullens, maybe I didn't want to get caught up in all this Supernatural shit! Have you ever thought maybe you just don't have what she wants." I growled out. I never saw it coming.

His hard metal like hand punched me in the face with enough force to send me to the ground. I felt blood spill into my mouth from my now busted lip, and bruising cheek. My anger became to much and before I knew what I had done I shot up and gave a growl as I threw myself at him. I sent us both falling to the ground and tumbling down the beach. Finally we came to a stop not far from the water and it washed us in sea salt water. My fist came down multiple times onto his face, I wanted to rearrange it to the point no one could recognize who he was, to the point Leah wouldn't be able to even stand the sight of him.

Though my process was stopped when he managed to get a leg between us and kick me off of him, if I was still human I'm sure just the punch from him would have been enough to knock me out. I landed on my back in the sand and my anger only grew. Suddenly odd things happened, the fire that billy had made went out, the grill had dents in it, and continued to get them until it was nothing more than scraps, a seven trees exploded and turned to mere sawdust, and then the radio crushed and caught fire. None of this stopped me and Jacob from our ongoing fight.

When he finally got to his feet I was pleased to see that his face was servery bruised and bleeding. A cut just over his eyebrow, was no doubt making it hard for him to see, giving me the upper hand. My training was doing wonders, and since he still thought I was human he was just a sitting duck to me. Our fight ended there though much to my displeasure.

Leah seemed to always jump in at the wrong times, and for the wrong people. I had been only inches from bringing my fist down on Jacob when I was grabbed by the wrist and through back a little by Leah.

"Leah move out of the way." I growled. My breathing was labored and sweat was mixing in with the blood from my lip and on my arm from when Jacob had dug his nails into my skin.

"No. I think you've done enough already Bella." she said.

She let Jacob rest against her and I saw him smirk at me when she wasn't looking. I growled and took a threatening step towards him, but was once again stopped by Leah, this time she pushed me back with more force.

"I'm serious Bella, it's over just go home."

"Not until this little punks down on the ground gasping for me to stop." I whispered in a low voice. Her eyes widen and I think it finally crossed her mind that I was serious about hurting him.

"Bella what's gotten into you."

"What's gotten into me, what's gotten into him, what's gotten into you!" I was angry and my body was shaking. How could she just stand up for this prick like nothing had happened between us. she knew of my feelings for her and she's was abusing them, they had become raw over the days, and where fragile sores now. One wrong touch and i would explode.

"I'm sick and tired of everyone thinking they can just walk all over and telling me what I should and shouldn't do. I'm not a fucking child anymore!" I turned and started for the car. i didn't have to put up with this shit, i don't even know why i bothered to come. i guess i was thinking that is she saw that i could stand on my own, that she didn't have to worry about me that everything would be okay. That she would finally accept me. But once again i had been wrong, and her next words supported me and brought me to a halt.

"That's no reason to go around beating people up though." she said. I turned around and stalked back over to her, we were making a scene but that's fucking fine with me, I was going to get all this off my chest right now and end this drama. If she wanted to be like this that was fine, i can show her what a real feral Bella looked like.

"You really think I started this!" she seemed at a lost between this now. My anger wasn't brought even hit by water when i saw Jacob was smiling, he was planning all this. I was going to kill the prick i swear, if it's the last thing I do. To the last second, to the last breath, to the last man, I swear I was going to kill him.

"Well-" she started.

"You need to decided." I finally said cutting her off.

"What do you mean?" she asked and I frowned, i didn't want to explain this to her, not like this.

"You need to decide who you want to be with, I can't take anymore of the switching, it hurts when you do. I'm slowly losing my mind because of it." I said. I didn't want to put her through this right now but, she wasn't helping anymore than she was hurting me and Jacob. We both wanted her and we both needed her, the only difference is that without her I'll go crazy, in fact it had already started to take effect.

"So pick...Me or Jacob?"

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><p><strong>Cliff hanger again, so that tells you that there are three parts of this split chapter, hoped you like it and review and tell me what you think Leah should say. All mistakes are my own once again.<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay here it is chapter 9 of My Sorry Life. this chapter hold so much emotion in it, and you will see that Bella will be questioning herself...a lot, I'm going to have to ask you to note these and take them to heart that in this position she might seem dark. Also one point goes to Burning innocence93 who find the small surprise in here.**

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><p>I sighed and turned on the big bed in the guest room of the Jacksons house. I didn't want to do anything, I couldn't do anything, my heart hurt to much. After Leah had decided I had taken her back to Charlie's house as I had promised and then once I was sure she had closed the door and went o our room I pulled back out and drove over to the Jackson's house.<p>

When I had made it into the house I was exhausted both mentally and physically. I had found the closest bedroom and flopped onto the bed, I was out like a light.

But as I laded here now, my eyes open, my hands crunching the cream cover sheets, and tears slowly finding their way down my cheeks. That time last night continued to play over and over again, almost like it was a broken record.  
><em><br>"Bella please don't make me chose, you can't do this to me." Leah pleaded. She can't be that desperate to not pick between us._

_I looked her in the eyes, they were filled to the brim with tears. My heart clenched, how could I be causing this much pain, the amount was uncountable though to how much pain those chocolate brown eyes held. I was serious though, I couldn't take much more of her switching, not only was it sickening and made her look like a slut but it wasn't fair to neither me or Jacob. It's not possible, she can't do this to me to Jacob, I won't let this happen._

_"Leah you can't have us both, it's either him or me. Take your pick." I said._

_She was slowly taking steps back, she was leaving she knew I was serious now, and didn't want to make this decision. I took a step forward, my eyes flickered to Jacob who had managed to find some balance on his feet. I smiled, I won't lie it felt good to see him in some pain. This doesn't make me a sadist, right? It was normal to feel this pure hatred for the man dating the girl you love, but was it normal to want to kill him. Have him gasping for air as my hands tightened around his neck, and watch the life slip from his dark brown eyes. I shake my head, I don't know anymore, nothing is normal for me anymore, and never was really._

_I stopped short of no more than a foot away from Leah. From the corner of my eye I could see everyone slowly making their way back home. The party was over finally, but it had taken to long and couldn't prevent this solution from happening. I saw Emily standing by the trail with Sam, it would take them back up to their house., or so I thought from my knowledge. I had never really been to any of the packs houses other than Leah's a few times._

_As I stared at Emily I saw only one thing in her eyes, one thing that made me so anger yet made me realize the delicate of this situation, sympathy. It wasn't directed at me I noticed after another minute, it was at Leah. Of course I hadn't been unaware of their small chat before all this started, and really I'm surprised they even talked._

_"Do what your heart tells you." I managed to hear her say thanks to my heighten hearing._

_After that she was gone, walking away with Sam to their house. My attention was drawn back to Leah and Jacob soon enough though, and my anger was back. Part of it directed towards Jacob and the other half at myself. How could I have been so stupid to have made a scene, to have exposed myself to them. I hadn't come straight out and phased, but I had done something just as bad I had taken one of_

_Jacob's punches when a mere human wouldn't have even been able to stand a full forced shove from him. I glared daggers at him, this was entirely his fault. If he hadn't made such a big deal about something he knew nothing about none of this would have happened. That was a lie, this would have still happened but it would have been during a more appropriate time. A time where I would be able to sit down and talk this through with Leah._

_Finally I looked back at Leah, awaiting her answer. My unconditional love for her couldn't be matched by Jacob's lust, and glee of my pain. I had enough love for her it swallowed his whole like Mobbydick swallowed Captains leg._

_"Leah." I whispered taking another step closer until I was close enough my hands could rest on her hips, "I won't hate you if you chose him over me, this is your choice and no one else, if I'm not the one and I sure hope I am, I'll understand."_

_I smiled when i felt her relax into my arms. I let my head rest in the crook of her neck, taking in her strawberry shampoo. I felt at total bliss right now, just me and her. I knew it wouldn't last long so I made do of this moment right her. It wasn't long before I could feel her breaking down. Drops of water hitting my shoulder and collar bone, and her nails digging into my back muscles as she hanged onto me for dear life. I was at a lost, I'm not good when it comes to people crying, especially Leah. The girl alone was a mystery left to be told, but a crying Leah that was like trying to figure out Sherlock Homes, it just wasn't possible. So I did any other time, I wrapped my arms around her and held her as she cried._

_My heart was clenching and turning violently in my chest at her small lamenting. Finally she pulled away, and I let her unrelentingly though. Her teats now stained my shoulder and her small cries were the only thing I could hear in my head._

_I wonder if she had wanted this to happen, my love for her this weird love line that had adapted to us. She must have known this would have been the outcome. Why would she wish this pain upon herself, upon Jacob, me, her- us? None of this added up. She had to understand that I didn't mean to hurt her, that I didn't want this for her or me-us._

_Once she was completely out of my reach, her arms wrapped around her in a hug, a lonesome hug. The tears had left their mark on her beautiful smooth skin and I dammed them to hell, or at least I would have if water could go there._

_"I can't." she whispered finally._

_"I can't do this, please don't make me do this!" she begged to me._

_I hung my head, could I really be the cause of so much pain, was she like this because of me. Jacob had been right in some way, everything between had been perfect, more than perfect until I some how got in between it all. I wonder if she realized that she could go back to those days, did I even realize she could. If she did, I'm not sure if I could handle it, it would feel like I was starting over my addiction all over again. I was trapped in a world that hated me._

_"You see what you've cause Bella." he managed to pant out, the next he hissed out, "Your nothing but a taboo, everything you come into reach with will wither up and die."_

_I took deep breaths, he was right. I mean look at the Cullens as soon as I had left them, everything for them had gone good and back to normal. Does that mean I was the reason mom and Charlie split up, had I been such a mistake that it had ruined their marriage? Would it be better if I just died?_

_"It would be better if you just died, that way no one would have to suffer as we have." Jacob said._

_I gave a small whimper, it was like he could read my mind. I looked over to Leah, she was frozen still, her eyes trained on me, but not really seeing me. Would she care if I died? No, maybe it's just best that I stay away from La Push, the Pack, the Cullens, and Charlie and Sue. I always knew as a child I wasn't much of anything, that one day my world would come crashing down and I would be left with nothing._

_"Leah do you want me to leave?" I finally asked, and though I was well rested I was panting._

_She stated at me, this time seeing me. Her eyes were wide and her face was set a place of confusion and shock._

_"Do you want me to leave and never come back?." I asked again._

_Jacob laughed and answered for her, "Of course she does, why the he'll would she pick dirt like you over someone like me!"_

_I flinched unknowingly at his words. They were harsh and cut me like a knife, where had the Jacob in front of me been hiding. It seems I'm not the only one that had changed. Jacob's eyes held a craze look in them I feared for Leah's safety right then._

_"I want... I want you to leave." I turned, Leah stood shaking._

_My anger had long since vanished and I had no one to blame, I had forced get to chose and she had chosen. I nodded and though my heart was broken and maybe never to be repaired I gave a smile. And it grew wider as I saw the grin Jacob was wearing disappear and be replaced with a frown at my smile._

_"If that's what you want." I turned and without looking back I walked to my mustang._

_I locked the car doors and drove off, never to return to La Push or any where near Charlie's house to here. I would stay at the Jackson's house from now on. I was twenty-three it was about time I moved_

_ out of Charlie's house now anyways._

Another tear slide down my face at the memory and I cursed myself for showing weakness. I sighed and threw the covers off my body and headed for the full adjoined bathroom. Picking up only the clothing I would change into. Though my world had come to a pause that didn't mean everyone else had, work started in two hours.

I picked out something fancy, and formal. Some white slacks, a dark blue button up shirt, and a white blazer jacket seemed to be good enough. My second closet here at the Jackson's was already starting to make this room my own. I would need something to keep me busy when I got back so shopping for things would do the trick of turning this room into my own. Hopefully work would be enough to help me forget, maybe even a shot or two.

I said my hellos to Caremon and David as I walked past them down stairs. They sat snuggled together on the couch, watching what looked to be a romantic comedy. My heart clenched and I turned my head, it was painful watching them. Now I know how Edward felt. I entered the kitchen next where I found Lucy reading a magazine.

She looked at me her eyes drenched with worry and I couldn't meet them. I couldn't meet them, couldn't let her see the pain I was in. But I know she knew, ever since I had been branded my connection with her had deepened, she in fact had the deepest connection with me. But when her tiny body pulled me towards her and her arms wrapped around me, And the gate was broken. Everything I had just bundled up and pushed to the back of my mind came spilling free. My arms held onto her tightly much like Leah had done with me two days ago.

She held me tightly, and whispered soothing words to me like my mother would. Finally I managed to stop my tears, and pull away. I smiled down at Lucy and she gave my arm a squeeze.

"Do you want me to come with you." she whispered.

I didn't need to think it over, I was emotionally unstable, I would need somebody there for me. I nodded and she kissed my forehead before going back upstairs to change. During that time Peter had come down in a robe, the man was a zombie without his coffee. I would have to remember to pull a prank on him one day. It wasn't long before Lucy came back down in something mire suitable for where we were going.

She gave Peter a quick kiss and then we were in my car driving to the Casino I worked at. I would be working the music today, and that means I would be singing. It wouldn't be my first time but the feeling of nervousness never went away. I quickly made sure I remembered the lyrics to the songs I was going to sing and then finally let myself relax into the silence.

I stepped up onto the stage microphone in hand and my hand stuffed into my pocket. As I stared into the crowd I noticed just how packed it was today. I spotted Lucy at the bar a small group of men around her, I smiled. Suddenly the nervousness was gone and I looked behind me making sure the musicians were ready. Today Lucy would see a side of me that I rarely showed to anyone. I took a deep breath and then started.

_Look, we gotta talk  
>Dang, I know, I know, but it's, it's just<br>There're some things I gotta get off chest, alright?  
>Yeah, listen<em>

_Baby, come in, sit down, let's talk_  
><em>I got a lot to say so I guess I'll start by<em>  
><em>Sayin' that I love you<em>  
><em>But you know this thing ain't been a walk in the park for us<em>

_I swear it'll only take a minute_  
><em>You'll understand when I finish, yeah<em>  
><em>And I don't want to see you cry<em>  
><em>But I don't want to be the one to tell you a lie so<em>

_How do you let go when you  
>You just don't know what's on<br>The other side of the door  
>When you're walking out? Talk about it<em>

_And everything I tried to remember to say_  
><em>Just went out my head<em>  
><em>So I'ma do the best I can to get you to understand<em>  
><em>'Cause I know<em>

_There's never a right time to say goodbye_  
><em>But I gotta make the first move<em>  
><em>'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me<em>  
><em>'Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you<em>  
><em>Girl it's not you, it's me<em>  
><em>I kinda gotta figure out what I need, oh<em>

_There's never a right time to say goodbye_  
><em>But we know that we gotta go our separate ways<em>  
><em>And I know it's hard but I gotta do it and it's killing me<em>  
><em>'Cause there's never a right time, right time to say goodbye<em>

_Girl, I know your heart is breaking_  
><em>And a thousand times I found myself asking, "Why? Why?"<em>  
><em>Why am I taking so long to say this?<em>  
><em>But trust me, girl I never meant to crush your world and I never<em>  
><em>Thought I would see the day we'd grow apart<em>

_And I wanna know how do you let go when you_  
><em>You just don't know what's on<em>  
><em>The other side of the door<em>  
><em>When you're walking out? Talk about it<em>

_Girl I hope you understand what I'm tryna say_  
><em>We just can't go on pretending that we get along<em>  
><em>Girl how you not gonna see it?<em>

_There's never a right time to say goodbye_  
><em>But I gotta make the first move<em>  
><em>'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me<em>  
><em>'Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you<em>  
><em>Girl it's not you it's me<em>  
><em>I kinda gotta figure out what I need, oh<em>

_There's never a right time to say goodbye_  
><em>But we know that we gotta go our separate ways<em>  
><em>And I know it's hard but I gotta do it and it's killing me<em>  
><em>'Cause there's never a right time, right time to say goodbye<em>

_Listen to your heart, girl you know we should be apart  
>Baby I, I just can't do it, I, I just can't do it<br>Listen to your heart, girl you know we should be apart  
>Baby I, I just can't do it and sometimes it makes me wanna cry<em>

_Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh_  
><em>Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh<em>  
><em>(Do you hear me crying?)<em>  
><em>Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ooh, ooh<em>  
><em>(Oh, oh)<em>  
><em>Ooh ooh<em>  
><em>(There's never a right time!)<em>  
><em>Ooh ooh<em>

_There's never a right time to say goodbye_  
><em>But I gotta make the first move<em>  
><em>'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me<em>  
><em>'Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you<em>  
><em>Girl it's not you it's me<em>  
><em>I kinda gotta figure out what I need<em>

_There's never a right time to say goodbye_  
><em>But we know that we gotta go our separate ways<em>  
><em>And I know it's hard but I gotta do it and it's killing me<em>  
><em>'Cause there's never a right time, right time to say goodbye<em>

_There's never a right time to say goodbye_  
><em>But I gotta make the first move<em>  
><em>'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me<em>  
><em>'Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you<em>  
><em>Girl it's not you it's me<em>  
><em>I kinda gotta figure out what I need, oh<em>

_There's never a right time to say goodbye_  
><em>But we know that we gotta go our separate ways<em>  
><em>And I know it's hard but I gotta do it and it's killing me<em>  
><em>'Cause there's never a right time, right time to say<em>

I did one more song before I took a break and grabbed some water. I took a shot of vodka, just enough to calm my nerves though. As I went back up on stage I grabbed my microphone again and prepared myself for my last song.

_Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain_  
><em>Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain<em>  
><em>Time starts to pass, before you know it you're frozen<em>

_But something happened for the very first time with you_  
><em>My heart melted to the ground, found something true<em>  
><em>And everyone's looking 'round, thinking I'm going crazy<em>

_But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you_  
><em>They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth<em>  
><em>My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing<em>

_You cut me open and I_  
><em>Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>You cut me open<em>

_Trying hard not to hear but they talk so loud_  
><em>Their piercing sounds fill my ears, try to fill me with doubt<em>  
><em>Yet I know that the goal is to keep me from falling<em>

_But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace_  
><em>And in this world of loneliness I see your face<em>  
><em>Yet everyone around me thinks that I'm going crazy<em>  
><em>Maybe, maybe<em>

_But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you_  
><em>They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth<em>  
><em>My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing<em>

_You cut me open and I_  
><em>Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>You cut me open<em>

_And it's draining all of me_  
><em>Oh, they find it hard to believe<em>  
><em>I'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see<em>

_I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you_  
><em>They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth<em>  
><em>My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing<em>

_You cut me open and I_  
><em>Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love<em>

_You cut me open and I_  
><em>Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love<em>  
><em>Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love<em>

_You cut me open and I_

_Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love_

I sighed everything after that was quite uneventful. My day went by like a blur as well as the next one and the next one. But I was happen I had sang those song they allowed me to put all the emotions I felt for Leah into three songs. Thankfully Lucy had nothing to worry about and was able to get slightly tipsy that day. I made a mental note to watch her whenever I brought her to... well anywhere that sold alcohol.

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><p><strong>The ending kind of sucks I know. I couldn't find exactly how to do this chapter and I kind of just let it go as I typed away on my ipod which is why there might be a lot of mistakes. the first songs is Say Goodbye by Chris Brown, the second is Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, and the one that I didn't really put in there was suppose to be Tattoo by Jordin Sparks. All mistakes are my own, and might always be, please Review and tell me what you think of the new Jacob and the way Leah has been acting.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10 part 1

**So this is the new chapter 10 of My sorry Life, not much to say so, go on and read.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Leah's Pov.<strong>

I shook my head and pulled Bella's pillow closer to me. The thoughts going through my head had been enough to make me bed written. I guess the guilt had gotten to me so much I had come down with the flu. Charlie and mom were worried about me, and the pack was constantly checking up on me, but I didn't want to see either. There was only one person I wanted to see and she was gone. Moving on with her life, something I should have done a long time ago.

Bella had packed her things and moved in with her 'friend' Lucy. My stomach did flops at the very thought of the memory.

* * *

><p><em>What the hell. That was the only thought that could run through my now dole mind. When I had asked<br>Bella to leave I didn't know how much it would effect me, effect the family. I couldn't believe I had asked Bella to leave, can't believe I had sided with him. I don't know if it was worth hiding. Well everyone in the pack knew I liked Bella as well as Jake now though, the only problem was that they didn't know she was also my imprint._

_I should have listened to Sam when he gave me that 'it's imprinting' speech, it would have made going through this much easier. But nothing I think would have prepared me for what I saw when I walked into our room, this must be how she felt._

_Boxes, that's all I saw. I heard the sound of hangers being thrown onto the ground and then others being taken of of the rack. I paid no attention to it though. My mind was only focused on the image of the multiple boxes sitting on the floor and on Bella's bed. What the hell was going on. I walked to the bed and looked inside, clothing was staked nicely in them. Bella's._

_My mind exploded with ideas as I figured out what she was doing. My heart clenched to the point it actual hurt and drawer a gasp from my lips. The sound coming from the closet stopped and I heard someone take a deep breath. I was close to hestrical when Bella finally walked out of our closet._

_I lifted the pair of sweats, "What's going on."_

_She shrugged and pulled up another box that was half way full and put in the clothing she held in her hands. " just some packing."_

_"Why?" hesitation evident in my voice, she looked as if she didn't want to answer but forced herself to anyways._

_"I found a place of my own." she said._

_Was I the cause of this, had my actions yesterday cause her to leave, was I pushing her away? I wanted to cry but I held them back, this was my own fault, I had brought this upon myself. I had been to harsh on her, I hadn't acted much like a step sister, or a sister at all really._

_"Bella if this is about." I tried to think over what to call yesterdays events, "Yesterday, I didn't mean you had to leave, this is your home."_

_She shook her head, and gave me the slightest of smiles. I hated it when she did that, covering the obvious pain I had caused, and not lashing out on me when I deserved it. She has been so selfless, even_

_when it came to me, she left the doors wide open and it had been up to me to chose which one was the right one. It seems I just have bad picking._

_"Bella please, you don't have to leave." I begged, I was disgusted. Look what I've come to, none if this would be happening if I had made the right choice. The choice I knew I should have taken._

_I stepped over the box keeping her from me and wrapped her into my arms, she went stiff. "Please don't leave me, don't leave Charlie, don't leave Seth and Sue- us. Please."_

_My words were choked out and I had to bite down on my pride, it always got in the way. I had used her so much, hurt her so much, maybe it was time I let her have the life she's always wanted. My thoughts came to a halt though when she kissed my forehead and then she nuzzled the crook of my neck._

_She kissed my pulse and my heart skipped a beat. She can't do this to me right now, not after she just told me, she was leaving._

_"I'm not doing this to hurt you," she whispered, "I just need some space, some time to think over where I'll go from here."_

* * *

><p>I shivered at the memory, it still felt like it had happened just yesterday, when in fact it had happened no more than a two weeks ago. After that day I could barely do anything. I was pulled from my dreadful thoughts when there was a knock at me and b- my bedroom door.<p>

"Go away." I managed to groan out.

I didn't want anybody to see me like this, it would hurt to much, not that I didn't deserve it. I had become thin over the two weeks, no food could do that to you. If I couldn't stand the sight of myself why would I let someone else see me.

"Leah it's me." her voice was clear and like no other, Emily.

She was probably the only one that I would let it but it was a battle to think on it's own. She gave another knock before opening the door, she was probably the first to even check if I had locked the door. The others had just knocked and when I didn't answer would just walk away. Much like I had done with Bella. My heart clenched and I felt tears were on the verge of free falling.

"Dam you look like shit." I heard Emily whisper. She closed the door behind her and locked it.

"Thanks." I mockingly said. She was holding something but the tears were blurring my vision.

"Sue wanted me to bring you something to eat." she said lifting what I guess was the plate of food before setting it down on my dresser.

"Lee-Lee what's wrong?" she sat down on my bed and ran her fingers through my hair.

"Nothing, just not feeling well."

She raised an eyebrow before shaking her head, "See that's what got you in this mess."

My face scrunched up. Emily never was one to beat around the bush, instead she would cut that route in half by 75 percent.

"Your pride is always keeping you from having what could make you happy." she whispered, "You and I both know Jake's not what you want."

I could meet her stare, I turned my head looking at the flashing numbers on my clock. Her words were true and hurt like a cut. She was trying to show me the light, but I was to comfortable in my dark corner. The dark corner that would get me no where and forever be my handicap.

"Em I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Then when do you want to Leah, after Bella's moved on, after you end up marrying a guy you font really love."

"Any time is better than the present."

She shook her head disapprovingly, "There's no better time then the present."

"Em please-"

"No, I'm done being nice Leah." he hands stopped running through my hair, and the next thing I know she's turned my head towards her. She had a perfect view of my teary eyed face, "Isn't this enough pain already."

"Leah it wasn't your fault."

"Em what are you talking about."

Acting childish had always been my way of escape, of leaving reality behind. But it obviously wasn't a option today, I would have to face this head on, and work through it.

"Leah we both know your father wanted you to date Jake, and we both know that it wasn't your fault he's dead."

She was right. I thought that since he was dead I should do something to please my decaesed father, and since had had always wanted my to date Jake, hell maybe even marry him and start a family, I was forcing myself to do it. But I had killed him, if I hadn't phased like that, if I wasn't a shape-shifter maybe he would still be alive, maybe he and mom would still be married.

"Leah, you deserve a better life than anyone else in all of Forks."

"Em-"

"Let me finish." I nodded and she continued,"If you think that wallowing away in your room is going to help achieve that though your wrong, there are somethings that will need to change, like that pride of yours, and the way you've been treating Bella."

I paled. I knew I had been treating Bella pretty bad, but I don't know how to change that. Emily was right though my pride was standing in the way, and for a good reason. It was my protection, it kept me from ending up like I did when Sam dumped me, it was there so -I- didn't get hurt not others.

"Em I know. Okay I know I've been acting pretty childish, that I've be en doing wrong with Bella, but it's hard and I don't know where to start to change it." I was full out crying now. Emily pulled me into a hug, a awkward one, but a hug nonetheless.

"I can help, but in order for me to help you. You have to something in return." she whispered and put a kiss on my forehead, I nodded and let myself sink into her shoulder.

"First you have start eating again and get the hell out if this room, it's not healthy for you." I gave a small laugh, of course the first thing she asks of me is to eat, "Secondly you have to promise to try and make things right with Bella. I know how you guys feel about each other, but let's face  
>It you guys are hopeless without my help."<p>

"Also, you have to answer my next question truthfully." her face went from playful, and goofy, to serious. I nodded for her to go on, "Is Bella your imprint?"

Out of all the questions she could have asked this one was unexpected. I could lie, but that wouldn't help with my situation at all. Or I could say yes and find the outcome and probably have everything go nice and dandy.

I didn't trust myself to answer so I just nodded, it would be a while before I got use to being so open about somethings. Her reaction shocked me too.

She gave a squeal and then hugged me tighter, cutting off my air way. I gasped for breath, and even gave a wheeze as I tried to get her attention. Finally she let me go just before I blacked out and a rush of air filled my lungs. God it had never felt so good to breath.

"See I told you, you wouldn't be imprint-less."

After that we eat and thought over what to do to set my life back on track, to apologize to Bella and to get back into her good graces.

* * *

><p>I knocked on the door to Jake's house, slightly more stiff than usual. The door was opened instantly and Billy greeted me with a smile.<p>

"Hey Billy, is Jake home?" I asked.

I looked down to the handicap man and I noticed that he seemed tired, and much more older than his energetic self. He nodded and then wheeled back into the house and it was minutes before Jake came to te door. His face was stone cold, and his eyes looked dater than usual, like he had lost himself to the darkness.

"Leah," he pulled me into his hug and gave me a soft kiss, "what is it, what's wrong, Bella didn't hurt you or anything."

I wanted to growl at his words but I didn't, he would feel much more hatred than this when I was finish with him. I took his big muscled hand in mine and tugged on it. He followed silently, not asking a question as I dragged him down to the beach. I stopped by the log that Bella would usually sit at.

I turned to Jake, confusion was written all over his face. No beating around the bush, "Jake, I don't think it's going to work out between us."

He was shocked at first before anger flashed onto his face and quickly disappeared ,"What do you mean."

"I mean that it's over." I whispered, he was shaking that much I knew, "Jake honestly did you think that it would work between us. I was forcing myself into dating you because my dad always wanted us to be together, not me."

"Impossible, he promised you would be mine!" he screamed at me in anger.

I stated shock, I had never seen Jake so angry, and bloodlust. Where had this Jake been, what had happened to my happy go lucky Jake? Gone that's for sure. Finally after so long I noticed the crazed look in his eyes, and the bags under his eyes.

"This is because of Bella isn't it, that bitch has converted you!" he said, directing all his anger at Bella now. That's what he seemed to be doing most days now, blaming her for his problems.

"Jake Bella has nothing to do with this." I said calmly. He crossed his arms over his chest, and raised an eyebrow, "Okay that was a lie, she does have to with this but she had no control over it."

He was breathing deeply, and looked as if he was trying to calm down. But nonetheless I saw his muscles tense and his be rocked by small tumors. Finally he sighed and uncrossed his arms, only for his jaw to lock up.

"And how so?" he asked, or well hissed out at me. I flinched, I wasn't prepared to tell him this yet, it would kill him, and me.

"Bella...Bella is my imprint." I managed to blurt out after minutes of silence.

His anger was back up end before I knew it he was gone, dashing from the beach, with incredible speed. There was only one thing, going through my mind as I ran to my car: he's going to kill Bella.

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><p><strong>So what do you think... not sure eat a slice!<strong> **Mistakes my own, Not happy about it well eat a slice.** **So yea a full Leah Pov chapter for once.** **BYEEEE**


	11. Chapter 11

**So here it is Chapter 11 of My Sorry Life. I'm quite proud of this chapter,and though there most likely will be a lot of** **mistakes it's because well it's night, I'm going to bed soon blah blah blah, I think you guys get the picture. Oh yea this is in Third person.  
><strong>

_**Started: December 10, 2011**_

* * *

><p>Leah was terrified, not because her boyfriend had just ran off to kill her imprint, and it wasn't because that every second that ticked by as she drove her mind flashed to the thought that Bella could be dead. She hadn't meant for all this to happen, how the hell was she suppose to know that Jacob had gone completely insane, and wanted to kill Bella.<p>

It wasn't until she pulled up at a stop light did she notice that; she didn't know where the fuck Bella lived. She cussed, and swore to the heavens her anger. Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel, her patients running thin. This was the longest red light she had ever stopped at. Her head snapped both ways and she wanted to scream, it was a four way section, and she was the only one waiting at either of the lights. This was just plain old ridiculous, she would find Bella faster if she phased then driving in this beat up old hammy down truck. It was then that she got the smartest idea, that really she should have thought of when this had all started.

She could look through Jacob's eyes and see where he was, but then again how was she even sure he was going the right place. It was a risk, a risk she was obliged to take. With eyes glaze over, and looking in a dazed it happened, though she felt reluctant from Jacob's mind.

A house, quite large in fact. It was framed to mirror that of a Roman castle but of course smaller. It was still quite large though, with a full round about drive way, and then concrete that extend to the side where a garage was built into the side of the house. It was enclosed by flourishing plants, and small animals, and if she didn't know better she would have said that the trees seemed to act as a gate around the house. If Jacob didn't have enhanced eye sight, which in fact he does, she wouldn't have noticed the small opening among the rows, and rows of trees.

She watched in horror as finally Jacob came to a stop and phased back, cutting her off from seeing anything else. The last thing she saw thankfully was the address on the house. With hast she pulled out a map, and looked for the shortest route to the house. Pausing she mentally slapped herself, in was in fact the 20th century. Throwing down the papers with a huff she pulled out a GPS (don't act like you guys have never done that before). Finally clicking in the last part of the address, that she could still remember as clear as water, she gave all care to the wind, slammed her foot on that gas petal.

Even if she did in fact lose this fight, which she might add was to the death, would Leah even care? She had spent all her new life pinning after the girl, doing things no one would do for her, but only in the end to be used like a tool that needed to be thrown away. She didn't even know how Charlie felt on this whole thing, she couldn't remember the last time she had even talked to her old man. Sure there had been the occasional hello and good morning, but she had never really sat down and talked to him. So looking back to the young man, she had in fact spent most of her summers with, she decided. She decided it was time to set things right, fuck setting things in place for the right time, she was going all all in on this motherfucker's ass!

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><p>Slowly she took each step down the porch one at a time, analyzing her options to attack. She didn't want to look stupid in front if the others, like she hadn't paid any attention to any if their lessons. No if anything she would think of this fight as a final exam. She would start off easy, just giving a few punches here and there to test his strength, see if he was going full out, and then if he went all werewolf on her she would pull out the big guns, literally (no not really).<p>

Finally she was face to face with Jacob, eye level with the man, and of course that was lie. She was several inches taller than him, and she had no doubt her wolf was much bigger than his now. As if on cue to see Jacob throw the first punch Leah pulled into the drive way of the castle structure before her.

Bella side stepped the punch taking hold of his arm with her left, and bring her right up to send a back-slap to his face. When he looked up she couldn't contain the smirk, a large bruise was already starting to form on his cheek. Anger surged within Jacob, anger from Bella, a female no less, make him look like a fool. He wasn't oblivious to the four odd smelling people standing watching from the porch, and that Leah had just pulled onto the drive way in the old truck he had bought her. Bella took a step back, watching as Jacob steadied himself and surveyed the area. Almost as if he was looking for somebody to help him. Upon noticing he was in fact in this alone, his anger grew, and he charged at Bella. He manger to wrap his arms around her waist. Bella took his hold as just one step less for her next move, grabbing hold of his shoulders tightly, with a grunt she rammed her knee up into the place where the sun would never shine again. There was a sickening crunch sound and any man with in a two mike radius was suddenly holding faces of pain, and flabbergast.

Jacobs grip slackened and Bella ripped herself from his arms, and he fell to the ground curling as he held his manhood, praying it would still work later. With one last look down at the rocking man she sighed and walked the long distances (in strides) over to where Leah stood, leaning against her hood of her car.

Without warning, Bella pulled Leah into a searing kiss. Her hands running up the length of her arms and resting on her shoulders. Leah was taken back not fully acknowledging what was happening until it finally registered into her brain. Bella was KISSING her! Without hesitation she returned the kiss, hooking a arm around Bella's neck, pulling her deeper, and closer. (apple juice!). They were much to distracted by there current activities to notice that Jacob had gained some ounce of his pride back and was making slow running to them at that very moment.

It wasn't until Jacob had pounced onto her back that she finally noticed he was in fact back up. His hands wrapped firmly around her neck in a choke hold, and his legs gripped her sides tightly. Upon the sudden attack Bella had pushed Leah out of the way, gently but with enough force to send her flying back onto the grass area of the round about (that's how you push someone eddy boy!). Her hand clawed at the other man, as she tried to pry him from her back, and her vision was slowly becoming darker.

"Bella you better live this or else I'll fuckin beat the crap out of you when I meet you in heaven!" she finally heard Leah scream to her angrily, but she could hear the hidden worry in her voice.

With newly found strength she finally pried Jacob from her back, gripping onto his jeans and pulling him over her head, and smashing him head first onto the hood of the car. ( that must have been one wedgie.) Stumbling back, her hand went to her throat trying to sooth the burning there as her lungs were filled with air.

"I'll get you a new car Leah!" Bella said seeing the shocked and somewhat furious look on the females face.

The bending of metal filled the air and Bella's head whipped around towards the car immdentaly. Expecting to fin a groaning Jacob on it, she found nothing. Though there was a rather large dent in the hood d the truck now. Closing her eyes she expanded her senses, and she quickly found him, by his horrid stench. Not that de smelled any better to them, maybe not quite as bad as the Cullens but not much better than the. He was in the trees,waiting for the right time to attack.

With new found strength Jacob's wolf form pounces from the trees. Bella met him in the air, and if Leah didn't have the enhanced sight and Brian of a werewolf, she would have said that Bella's place had been taken by a wolf. But she knew better, she knew that Bella was the one in fact that had transformed into a wolf. A wolf that was much bigger than Jacob and herself. But at the same time she was beautiful. White fur, with black spots, and then electric blue eyes.

Then Jacob, and Bella collided, and the impact of their bodies hitting each other resounded like thunder. They fell landing on top of Leah's crushed car, thrashing and clawing at one another. Jacob was weak, to weak, and his confidence was low. Bella on the other hand knew exactly how this fight would play out, a reason she was taking it easy, letting Jacob have a few hits on her.

Finally enough was enough and Bella sunk her teeth into Jacob's neck. Tightly and with a never loosening grip, she shook her head. Throwing Jacob around like a tag doll, a chew toy at best. Leah stared in horror. This person, the person shaking Jacob around without a second thought, that wasn't her Bella. It couldn't be, Bella was nice, negotiating, and calm. But the girl/beast in front of her though still calm was not her nice, negotiating Bella.

Bella released her grip on Jacobs neck, letting him fall to the floor on unsteady legs. Blood matted the fur around his neck, but Bella too was not left unscathed. Blood oozed down the middle of her head where Jacob had managed to ram his head against her's, and her left front leg was completely stained with blood as well as shaking. A harsh growl left Bella's throat and even Leah could feel the power vibrate through her own body. Bella bared her teeth at the whimpering Jacob, his ears though flat against his head, his own furious growl escaped his throat.

Leah stared shock, this was not good. Neither wanted to back down, and both wanted to come out as the victor of this fight. She knew that if thus continued the both would end up killing each other, or the fight could go further, involving the packs on both sides. Leah stood to her feet, walking slowly, and with cation over to the white furred wolf. Finally she was at arms length with Bella's over sized wolf form, hand shaking as she ran it through the red stained fur.

It captured Bella's attention long enough that she looked away from Jacobs pathetic whimpering form.

"You don't have to keep fighting" Leah whispered soft-fully, eyes locking with electric blue. Silently she wondered why she never noticed the change from her natural chocolate brown, "You've won this fight, there's no need to go any further."

Leah's soft whispers were enough to pull Bella away from the fighting. But that didn't mean that it was enough to keep Jacob from continuing his own battle with the female wolf. Taking his chances he jumped onto Bella's back, nails digging into her back, and slowly drawing a crimson red line as Bella bucked him off. Leah moved forward, it at least bit afraid that she could get pulled into their fracas. With one last buck, Bella kicked Jacob off her back, spinning her paw connected with his head just in time to pull it to the ground in a powerful head slam.

Nails dug into his head, and whimpers were heard, as Jacob struggled to get from under Bella's grasp. This movement only further made Bella add pressure onto her paw, nails digging further into Jacob's head.

"Bella let him go!" Leah rushed over to the pair, "Please Bella let him go."

Bella looked over to Leah, a look of pain on her furry face. It was from her cuts, as well as the breaking of her heart as she watched Leah beg her to not kill the man that was standing between then getting together. Her excitement though from Jacob's whimpers made her had more pressure.

"Bella please if not for me fit Charlie, you know he's going to find out a out this, what's that going to make him think of you?"

The thought was tempting she would have to admit, but it wasn't enough, it's not what she needed to hear from Leah's lips. She wanted to hear different words. Leah's desperation surged as she saw Jacob slowly converting back to his human form. He would t survive the pressure, not even with his werewolf strength, it wasn't possible, not with Bella holding the outcome of everything.

"Bella please! Don't kill Jacob, please don't kill him!" Leah said hands now pushing on the leg holding Jacob down, anything to help, it didn't.

"Bella if you kill him, I'll never forgive you." Leah finally screamed angrily at the wolf, "I'll make sure that you'll never lay another hand on me!"

Finally Bella's hold slackened but it was to late, Jacob's squirming body stilled and went limp, and eyes slipping close. Leah screamed her frustration, and Bella's paw lifted off Jacob's limp body. She won't lie, she was happy that she had done it, finally gave Jacob a taste of his own medicine. But yet as she listened to Leah scream and cry, she had doubts on her decision. As if sensing that she would need to explain herself Bella phased back, as naked as the day she was born, but of course couldn't bring herself to mind.

"Leah I-" Bella was silenced by an accusing finger jabbing her in the middle of the chest, she was taken back by Leah's actions.

"You killed him, even...even!" Leah said she couldn't even say the word but forced it out, "Even after I had pleaded, begged you not to."

Bella opened her mouth to say something, but was once again cut off by Leah, "What the hell were you thinking, what the fuck do you think Charlie and mom are going to say about this!"

"Leah if you will just give me a minute to explain-" Bella finally manage to spit in more than two words. She desperately wanted to tell the female, but she couldn't if the girl wouldn't let her talk.

"Explain what, that you just killed my ex-boyfriend, killed someones son, billy's to be exact, killed one of Sam's pack-mates." finally Leah hit hysterical. By now Lucy had walked over to them and handed Bella a roll of clothing that consisted of black sweats, a white wife beater tank top, and a pair of converse shoes.

Caremon was crouched down by Jacob looking the boy over. She checked his pulse and couldn't help but release a few chuckles.

'Bella you son of a bitch.' standing from her crouch Caremon walked over to the arguing females.

"Bella what the hell were you thinking, you killed one of Sam's pack-mates, do you know what you've done." Leah whispered her anger now to much and o hard to keep under control, "Their going to hunt you down and kill you, and-!"

"Leah will you shut the fuck up so I can explain something to you." Bella finally broke the native off, covering her mouth with her hand.

Leah mumbled under her breath, but nonetheless let the brunette speak.

"Jacob's not dead." Bella said dropping her hand from covering Leah's mouth.

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you think, I know a lot of you were just itching to see Jacob get a beat down, and what is this Jacob's STILL A LIVE,<strong> ** what on earth have I gotten myself into.** **Don't know, and oddly i really don't care, but I'm going to eat a slice. If your wondering why I've been saying that it's from a Olan Rodgers video specifically the CHUCK E. CHEESE one.** **Anyways though mistakes my own, but if you read the top Author's note you would know that i didn't read through this because it's time for bed and blah blah blah.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Well here it is chapter 12 of My Sorry Life, I know it's kind of short but I've had a lot of things going on that and I just pulled my hamstring so all I really want to do is lay in bed, that and I'm working on Pepakura Halo Mark 6 helmet, and I just had a basketball game. SOOO yea a lot has been happening. Hopefully this chapter will be enough to tie some of you over for a while until I have the energy to make chapter 13.**

* * *

><p>What." Leah managed to choke out. The silence had been unbearable.<p>

Bella shifted on her feet, putting all her weight on her right, and arms remained crossed at her chest. Electric blue eyes stared down at brown, Leah's eyes wide with shock.

Bella sighed and uncrossed her arms, " Jacob's not dead, he's just knocked out from blood lost... Not that I'm saying I didn't want to kill him." it was true and everyone knew the pure hate she had for the laying man.

"But I knew how much it would hurt you if I killed him..." Bella trailed off. She wasn't quite sure how all this was going to turn out, and really she couldn't bring herself to care.

A small smile tugged on Leah's lips and she took a step closer to Bella. Wrapping her arms around the girl in a hug, Bella stood stiff, and shocked but soon relaxed into the hug and wrapped her own arms around Leah's waist. Warmth spread through Leah's heart, Bella had listened to her. She didn't kill Jacob. She knew Bella wouldn't kill Jacob, but when she saw his chest stop rising, and his body go limp, she couldn't keep the anger at bay. Jacob may have been an asshole but he didn't deserve to die. But now that she was sure that Bella had listened to it brought a off sense of security to her, but it quickly vanished as Leah realizes that now they would have to talk about Bella phasing and how they would handle everything from here.

Bella pulled Leah in closer, and eyes flickered over to Caremon, and then to Jacob's limp body. Caremon quickly got the hint and walked back over to Jacob, lifting him up with the help of Peter they carried him inside, and into the living room. Caremon gave a sigh of relief as she finally dropped Jacob onto the couch, she moved to the love seat on the other side of the coffee table, the farthest from his stench. She was uncomfortable and wanted David by her, but bit her tongue and watches closely as David cleaned Jacob's wounds and bandaged them up.

It was minutes maybe even an hour until finally David stood and moved away from the limp form on the couch. A small smile came to his lips as he pulled Caremon into his chest, and they relaxed back into the couch.

* * *

><p>Leah watched closely as Bella continued to pace around the garden. After Caremon and the others left with Jacob they had made their way to the garden in the back. They hadn't spoken a word to each other, both to nervous to bring up the elephant in the room. In a result of that Bella had started pacing in front of the fountain where Leah sat patiently on the stone bench. If she had thought the front of the house had looked beautiful the back was stupendous. It reminded her much of a rose garden. It was littered with all colors of roses and flowers, and the hedges created a maze, that Bella had easily lead them through. It was all indescribable.<p>

Bella glanced over to Leah, and with a sigh she walked over and crouched in front of the female, taking her hand and bringing it to her lips so she could place sweet kisses on each knuckle. "Leah you have to believe me when I say I wanted to tell you a long time ago." Bella ran her hands over the back of Leah's hand. It was calming, but it was only hiding the obvious nervous flicker of her eyes.

Leah sighed. She knew Bella was telling the truth but that doesn't mean it healed the pain she felt knowing Bella didn't trust her enough to confess this to her. She looked to the setting sun and then back to Bella. Leah hesitated but let the tips of her fingers dance across Bella's cheeks.

"When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me sooner, what stopped you from telling me?" Leah whispered.

Bella fought off a smile, Leah was going to give her a chance. She took a seat next to Leah, her hand never letting go of Leah's. Bella looked Leah in the eye, her eyes calm, soothing, and dammit Leah was getting lost in them like she was in the ocean. If it hadn't been for Bella bringing her out of her daze she wouldn't have even noticed that Bella had began, and the sun had finally set. Casting a nice layer of orange, blue end purple into the sky, this only made the petals on the flowers grow a soft glow.

"You chose Jacob over me, I was going to tell you that night, but things..." Bella sighed in frustration, she knew that she wouldn't be able to explain anything without blurting out she loved Leah to death. "Things got complicated, and thought you would want your space from me, so I never got to tell you."

"And when did you find out you could..phase or whatever you guys call it?" Leah said, eyes briefly flashing away from Bella's.

"To tell you the truth I'm not even sure when I started phasing, sometimes I would randomly wake up in the forest naked, other times I'd just have no recall if what happened at all that night." Bella whispered voice suddenly gone hoarse.

"How are you exactly..." Leah trailed, hopefully Bella got the under meaning and wouldn't force her to go through this.

"You can only be a werewolf through hereditary, which doesn't make any sense because I'm sure both Renee and Charlie are not Werewolves or Wereleapoad." Bella said.

"Have you ever thought that maybe ya' know."

"Maybe what?" Bella whispered, jaw locked tight, as she waited for the words to leave Leah's lips. She what Leah was thinking, and she knew that it was possible, but she wanted to hear Leah say it. Hopefully it would snap her out of the dream world she was living.

"Maybe... your adopted." Leah said. She gave Bella's hand a gentle squeeze.

Silence filled the garden, not even a cricket dared to make a sound. It was as if the world had all together come to a stop. Leah looked to Bella. The other female had a face scrunched up in deep thought, and though she did realize it every second that ticketed by Bella's anger was slowly growing.

It wasn't that what Leah said made her angry, it was more of the fact that the possibility of it being true was very high. It angered her to know that if it was true, if it was true that she was adopted that Charlie didn't have the guts to tell her. Her hand went limp in Leah's and she could feel he worry through their connection.

"I'm not adopted." Bella finally said, but it came out more harsher than she intended.

Leah flinched at the harsh tone, and slowly but surely her hand slipped from Bella's. "I'm not saying you are, but there's a possibility that Charlie and Renee aren't your real parents."

"I'm not adopted!" Bella finally lost it, mind fogged over with pure hatred for the topic.

Though Leah saw Bella try to hide it she saw the shaking of her hands, and the way she gasping for air. Leah scooted closer, and wrapped Bella into her arms, pulling the female into her chest. Leah ran her hands through Bella's dark brown hair, massaging her scalp.

"Okay okay hey shh, your not adopted, it was just a suggestion." Leah whispered into Bella's ear. Trying to sooth Bella's fears, and tears.

They sat like that until finally Bella's tears subsided and the moon had taken it's rightful place in the dark sky; out shining every star there was to be seen. Bella had since laded down across the bench, her head resting on Leah's leg. They hadn't moved a muscle, both to absorbed in getting lost in the others eyes. Finally Leah broke the eye contact, glancing towards the house then back to Bella.

"I could look into if you want?" Leah said voice low almost a whisper.

It took Bella a few minutes to figure out what Leah was talking about, finally she tried to ended the discussion with a simple "No."

"But don't you want to know, what if Charlie, and Renee really aren't your parents don't you want to at least know who they are?" Leah watched helplessly as Bella shot up and stood to her feet.

Bella had her hands balled tightly, her nails piercing the skin of palm, and the blood in her veins coming to a boil. She was completely done with this topic now. For the sake of Leah's health, and to prevent from scarring the natives beautiful face, she didn't turn around.

"Leah, stop. The answer is no and will always be no. We're done with this topic." Bella hissed out.

Leah stood to her feet. Wrapping her arms around Bella's waist she allowed her head to rest on the back of Bella's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry. I...I was just." Leah mumbled into Bella's shoulder. With a sigh Bella gripped Leah's hand. "It's fine I'm just a little sensitive on thus subjected."

"Just know when I say no, I mean it." Bella turned in Leah's arms, finally wrapping her arms around the shorter girl's waist.

"It's late we should get some rest." Leah said fingers once again finding their way back into Bella's hair.

Bella gave her grunt of approval, and pulled away from Leah. With hands intertwined Bella began to lead them out of the maze garden. She could only wish this was her chance to med both Leah's and her broken hearts. But she knew only time would tell her.

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><p><strong>So what did you guys and gals think, review and let me know, so I'll know what I can change in the next chapter. Bless yo face, and if you sneezed while reading this bless you, peace out!<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**My Sorry Life will be Discontinued until further notice. **

**Apologies to those who were looking forward to another chapter, but I've kind of lost sight in what I want with this story, and when I do remember I'll probably start a new story. It's been holding me back from my other new stories seeing as how I promised not to make any new stories until I finished this one.**


	14. Chapter 14

The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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	15. Chapter 15

**As of now I have STARTED and POSTED the remake of My Sorry Life.**

**I know its kind of over due but life and school have been getting in the way, **

**so yea. But it's here now and I would appreciate it if you reviewed it as well, but I won't beg for **

**them-okay I was lying I will begging for them but I won't do it incessantly. **

**Anyways if you want to see it check it out under my stories or find it mixed **

**in with all the Bella/ Leah stories, though that's just wasting time since you can  
><strong>

** just click my name up top and find it. Now as for updating I'm still deciding on whether**

** Sundays or Saturdays will work best so I'll have time during the week**

** to work on the chapters, but suspect an update in Saturday or Sunday.**

**THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND FAVORITES YOU GUYS WERE THE BEST!  
><strong>


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